


violet nights • junhui x minghao

by abnegative



Series: Bubblegum Funk [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-24 11:01:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 43,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17703131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abnegative/pseuds/abnegative
Summary: Book 2/3 of the Bubblegum Funk seriesjunhui x minghaosmutBook 1 - Bubblegum Funk - Kwon Soonyoung is a commercial success as the leader and songwriter for Bubblegum Funk - the most popular children's performers in Asia. But his life is lonely and lacking excitement, which he finds in the form of Lee Jihoon, drummer of the wildly out of control punk band Disengagement.Book 2 - Violet Nights - Minghao runs away from a stifling life in China to pursue his dream of becoming an idol. When he meets a beautiful violet-haired boy he feels the red string that ties them together pull their fates closer. But when things don't turn out the way he'd hoped he loses confidence in himself and his life slips off the rails leading him down a dangerous path. Can fate intervene and bring the violet haired boy back to somehow save him from himself?Book 3 - TBA / Coming 2019





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

 

The boy snuck downstairs in the middle of the night. It was warm, luckily, as he could only carry what he wanted in the backpack slung over his shoulder. He slipped into the study and found the lockbox that held the family’s emergency cash. A few jiggles with his pocket knife and it popped open. It wasn’t a lot of money but it was enough to get him where he wanted to go. He rolled the cash up and shoved it into his sock and put the knife back into his pocket. He didn’t even leave a note. The door opened silently behind him and he closed it softly as he walked away and never intended to look back.

 

Xu Minghao had spent the first fifteen years of his life under their control. He knew his parents loved him. They just didn’t know him. The more they wanted him to achieve the more he wanted to rebel. A life of studying and volunteering, going to church and family picnics, mixing with the right people wasn’t the life he ever wanted. They had already decided he would study at University, become a doctor like his father, they had already even arranged a marriage for him. All this before the age of sixteen. He was smart but had no aptitude or interest for medicine, science, or study at all. What he loved to do was sing and dance and clown.

 

His friends would speak of a different person to his parents. His parents only saw their neat and tidy Minghao, their son who worked hard on his art and his wushu, would study and become a doctor and marry a nice girl they had already selected. Their son who would only bring pride to his family and give them a beautiful grandchild, hopefully a boy, and take care of them in their old age. Minghao’s friends he had picked up along his secret travels through the underground culture of the city would speak of a wild boy who was the most naturally talented dancer on the scene. A loose cannon who wasn’t to be messed with. A martial arts expert and talented singer and rapper who made friends easily and enemies just as easily. The handsome and charismatic boy who all the girls fawned over but who never showed any interest in them back. Minghao lived for risky acrobatics and tricking, tagging his beautiful graffiti all over the almost abandoned railyards of the city, instigating fights with rival crews who wandered too close to their favourite hangouts. But above everything else Minghao lived for dance.

 

The older he got the easier it was to get out of the house. His parents believed every line he fed them. “I’m going to the library.” Or “I have astronomy club tonight.” He would call out as he headed out the door with his ever present backpack on his back. But instead of being filled with books it was stuffed with baggy shorts and cans of paint, his ever present pocket knife, and his well-worn pair of black Converse sneakers. As soon as he was free he would hop over the turnstile and onto the train, changing from his neat polo shirt and trousers as soon as he could, and join his crew wherever they were. Someone always had speakers and they would take turns blasting the latest hip hop while they danced off against each other, laughing and learning and inventing new things, and Minghao was always in the middle of it. Whatever was happening he was the centre of the activity. His charisma and infectious personality drew people to him like a moth to a flame. He was tall and handsome, cute and bubbly, but could change to dark and threatening in an instant. There was an aura about him which ensured people knew he was not to be messed with despite his cute and bubbly personality.

 

The older he got the harder it was to escape the reality of his adult life. He felt like he was careening at high speed towards a future he never wanted, a person he never wanted to become, a life that just wasn’t him. He was almost sixteen and about to enter the last two years of his schooling. He decided that he had to take his life into his own hands. The boys on the street always joked about running away to Korea, where the opportunities for singers and dancers were much greater than in China, but Minghao knew deep down none of them had the balls. They would talk a big talk about getting some money together, throwing things into a backpack, and taking the train to Seoul to audition for the many companies that offered open auditions. But the more Minghao thought about it the more he wanted it. The final straw was the day he came home to find her sitting on his couch. His mother was making them tea and she was pretty enough, with her long dark hair and her primly downturned dark gaze, but faced with the future wife he didn’t want he knew he had to escape.

 

Two nights later at 2am Minghao packed his bag. He added his passport and his wallet and his phone. His three best outfits, favourite bandana and cap, and beanie. He dressed in his skinny jeans, a muscle t and his trusty black Converse, and on a whim he hid his stuffed cat from his bed. The knife went in his pocket and his watch went on his wrist. And with his parent’s emergency funds stuffed into his sock he walked down the street in darkness.

 

It took him two hours to walk through his neighbourhood, into the city, and finally to the train station. He showed his passport and handed over cash for the 6am train to Qingdao. He bought a smoothie and a toasted sandwich to eat while he waited for the train to arrive. He checked his phone but there were no missed calls or messages. He hadn’t been missed yet. By the time his mother expected him downstairs for school at 8am he would be on the ferry to Incheon.

 

He knew the ferry ride would take 26 hours but he never knew he would feel so seasick. By lunchtime he had already thrown up twice and his phone had been ringing incessantly. He should have left a note. In the end he sent his mum a text that said he was safe and not to look for him anymore. He found a seat near the window and tried to sleep, putting his phone on airplane mode, and his favourite music on. He slept and woke, tried to eat, threw up again and began to wonder if he was making the right decision. For the first time in his life he was afraid. He looked around, saw no one taking any notice, and took his CAT out of his backpack. As he held the stuffed animal to his chest and stared out the window finally the view of the coast came back into his vision. They were almost there.

 

He made his way off the ferry and followed a crowd of people towards the train station. It was 9am and he was finally in Korea. He got on the train again and immediately felt better with the feeling of solid earth under him. It was only then he realised he was alone, with no knowledge of the language or the city, little money and no place to go. But as he walked off the train into the enormous city of Seoul he didn’t care. He no longer felt afraid. The city held the key to his dreams and he was here to make them all come true.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

 

He was alone, but smart, and needed a plan. He had enough money left to last him about two weeks. He could spend them trying to make his dreams come true, or come up with something else for the interim, anything would be better than going home. He walked through the middle of the enormous city, searching his phone, mentally planning his next week. A cheap place to sleep and shower was his first priority. He already had the list of companies that would take an audition and he had to get someone to take him before he ran out of time and money.

 

He had underestimated the time it would take him to walk through the city to the entertainment district. As he passed the major network buildings butterflies built in his stomach. He was going to make it. He just knew. He could feel it in his bones, his skin crawled with excitement, his muscles ached to move and dance and show off his talent and skills. He was made for this city, he was wired for this life, not the life of a doctor married to a teacher living in some nice two storey house with a baby and a cat.

 

By the time he reached the right area of the city he was exhausted. He found a cheap looking motel off a side street and paid for a week. Half his money was already gone and it had only been 24 hours since he left. He hid himself in the room which was old and dingy, but reasonably clean, and ate a cup of instant ramen. He was so tired he didn’t even worry about how clean the sheets were. He sank onto the uncomfortable mattress, pulled his panda plushie out, and wrapped his arms around it. He was never scared to be alone at home but he had never felt truly alone until this night curled up in a strange motel room in a foreign country.

 

His mind wandered as he drifted off. Was his mother upset? Was she crying? Was his father sad, angry, scared? Or just disappointed that he would have to tell people his son was a runaway. Better to be labelled a runaway in his father’s eyes rather than all the other truthful labels people would have to use.

 

In the long run he was saving them more pain than they realised. They had no idea how much of a disappointment he was. He shuddered as he rolled over and faced the wall. He was so glad he got out while he could.

 

Two companies were holding open auditions the next day. Minghao got out of bed and showered and used a little of the cosmetics he had brought with him to enhance his features. His eyes were big and round and easily his best feature. He had thick hair which was dark and a little too long and smooth flawless skin. He eyed himself critically in the mirror but he saw no fault. His nose was pert and cute, his cheekbones were high and his ears drew up into a point giving him an ethereal cat-like appearance.

 

He dressed in a black muscle tank, skinny jeans, his favourite converse and threw a red and black shirt over the top. He didn’t know what to expect but when he arrived at the first company he suddenly realised how competitive this would be. There were easily 50 boys lined up already, all just as cute as him, all probably just as talented. And he had no idea until this moment how much of a hindrance his lack of language was going to be. He couldn’t even fill out the application form. He did the best he could and waited for three hours in the line and when it was finally his turn the mean looking woman in the room barely even looked at him. He danced and sang and left with tears filling his eyes.

The second company was just around the corner and the situation was just the same. He struggled with the forms, he had no one to talk to, and after waiting for what felt like forever he was dismissed without even a second look.

 

He already felt defeated as he lined up for the third audition, his last chance for the day, and his last chance until more open calls were announced. This was for a much smaller company. They didn’t have a very good reputation for their treatment of their trainees but Minghao had no choice. He had to give everything a go. He sat on a bench among the ten or so other similarly clothed boys gathered in the atrium of the small building. He stared at the paper before writing his name and phone number. It was all he could manage. When he looked up he was surprised to see a brown haired boy leaning over him looking at the page. “You need help?” he asked and Minghao smiled. Finally. Someone who spoke his language. “Yes please.” He said and handed the page to the kind looking boy who asked the details and filled them out in his reasonably competent Korean language. “Do you know any Korean?” He asked when he was done and Minghao shook his head. “No. I only got here yesterday.” The boy laughed and his eyes lit up. “Wow. You’re fresh. I’ve been here six months.” He held his hand out and Minghao took it and shook. “I’m Minghao.” Minghao felt relief wash over him as the kind looking boy shook his hand and smiled that friendly smile again. “I’m Renjun.”

 

They went in one after each other and all came out with similar expressions. Minghao walked out feeling defeated once again but was pleased to see Renjun had waited for him. “You get knocked back?” He asked and Minghao nodded. “I don’t need to speak Korean to understand that was a definite no.” Renjun laughed as they walked down the road together. “I got asked to come back for the second round. But I probably won’t go.” Minghao looked at him curiously and Renjun grinned widely showing off a row of slightly crooked teeth. “I’m going for SM. That’s my dream!” Minghao couldn’t believe the nerve of the kid. This skinny kid with the crooked teeth was going for one of the Big Three.

 

“Might as well dream big.” He said by way of explanation and Minghao nodded without speaking. “Come to the big park near the supermarket tonight.” Renjun called out as they turned to go opposite ways. “You can meet the other kids there. I’ll introduce you.” And he was gone.

 

Minghao didn’t let the rejection of the day cloud his mood. It was only the first day and if he hadn’t been accepted by any companies at least he had found a friend. Maybe more.


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

 

He was tired of the missed calls and decided to go and buy and new SIM card. He walked up and down the aisles of the little convenience store at the end of the street looking for what he wanted. He spotted it and picked up the little packet and checked the price. Minghao, suddenly concerned about how quickly he was eating into his money, went to put it back. But then he looked left and right, saw no one watching, and quickly stuffed it into his jacket pocket. Adrenaline coursed through his body as he quickly left the shop and headed around the corner, past the supermarket, and into the park.

 

As soon as he was sure he was safe he sat on a bench and cracked open the packet. He put the new SIM card into his phone and wrote the new number on the back of his hand. Minghao felt good. It wasn’t the first time he had stolen but it was the first time out of necessity. It was something he liked to dare the younger guys to do back home and he wouldn’t made someone do something he wouldn’t do himself. And tonight he got something he needed and kept his money in his pocket. He smiled to himself as he walked into the park ready to meet some new friends.

 

“Who are you?” a short kid with dyed blond hair accosted him as soon as he neared the place Renjun told him about. Kids were gathered on benches and on the grass. It was mostly dark but a big floodlight beat down on a half-pipe and a toilet block stood off to the side. The kid was arrogant and cocky but he spoke Minghao’s language and that was all that mattered. “I’m Minghao.” He said and the kid turned instantly from accusatory to friendly. “Renjun’s new friend!” He said with a grin. “I’m Chenle. Renjun and I live together, well more accurately he sleeps on my couch, but anyway come and join in.” The kid, who turned out to be older than he looked, dragged Minghao over and he was soon in the thick of the action. Girls and boys hung around on benches, some skating, some dancing, all laughing and having a good time. Renjun soon showed up and joined Minghao on a bench and began pointing people out.

 

“Most of these kids just like to hang around. But a few of us here are going to make it. They can keep their fancy performing arts schools and college education. I’m going to be accepted at SM and so is Chenle.” Renjun smiled as he watched his loud friend shriek with laughter as he flirted with a cute girl in a too-short skirt. “Chenle’s parents are rich. They pay for his apartment and I’m lucky enough to be able to crash there. He goes to one of the performing arts high schools during the day with those guys.” Renjun indicated the other kids near Chenle who were all dressed in expensive looking clothes and shoes.

 

“That’s Yanan.” Renjun indicated a very tall, dark haired and handsome boy, who looked a little older. “He’s not one of the rich kids. He’s the one you can go to if you need work. You know, selling…” He looked at Minghao who was considering it. He needed money. He just needed to know what he would be selling. He decided he would talk to Yanan later. He needed work.

 

“Selling what?” Minghao asked quietly and Renjun just chuckled. “Anything. Drugs, counterfeit clothes and shoes, your body if you get desperate…” Minghao shivered. There was a lot he would consider to make his dreams come true but he wouldn’t go that far.

 

He sat with Renjun and watched a few kids having a bit of a semi-serious dance off in the bottom of a half pipe when his breath caught in his chest. A boy, a little taller than Minghao, walked out into the middle of the group and began to dance. His limbs were long and graceful and moved like water as he moved to the music with his eyes closed. His body, slim and slender, rolled in time with the beat and Minghao felt his cheeks heat up. The dance was nothing outrageous but for some reason this boy just made it feel scandalous and Minghao felt something he had never felt before. A heat began to build in his stomach as he watched. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the boy dressed all in black moving in time to the beat.

 

Renjun looked at Minghao’s open mouthed gaze and chuckled. “That’s Junhui. Isn’t he amazing! He’s the best dancer here and all the girls are crazy for him.” Minghao just nodded. The guys visuals were ethereal and breathtaking and the way his bright violet hair caught the big floodlight over the concrete structure made it look like a scene from a movie. “The best dancer here? You sure about that?” Minghao laughed and jumped up from the bench. He jogged over to the half pipe and joined in with the other boy’s dance and they moved around each other in time with the music. He had run in intending to challenge the boy, battle a little, show off a bit. But as soon as their eyes locked Minghao realised they were moving in sync rather than opposition. His challenge had turned into a duet without either realising. When the music stopped and their eyes locked, both panting for breath, both a little stunned with what happened, a smile spread across Junhui’s face. “Hi.” He said. “Hi.” Minghao responded and smiled back.

 

“How long have you been in the city?” Junhui asked as he offered Minghao a can of energy drink which the boy readily accepted. “Not long. It’s harder than I thought. I don’t speak the language and they hate me in every audition I go for.” Junhui just laughed. “It will just take time. You’re talented. You’ll find the right company.” He smiled as he turned to the younger boy. “You’re cute. Someone will take you.” Minghao felt himself blush and the confusion distracted him from their conversation. Cute? Why did this boy think he was cute and why did him saying it affect him so much?

 

They sat side by side under the glow of the floodlight, neither speaking, sipping their drinks. Finally Junhui got up. “Well. It was nice to meet you Minghao. I’ve got to go. I’ve got a big audition in the morning for a really small company. They’re not very big but they have a great reputation and I’ve got a good feeling about this one.” Minghao smiled and offered out his hand and Junhui shook it. “See ya round.” Minghao grinned as he watched Junhui walk away.

 

Minghao really hoped he would.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

 

_Six months later…_

 

 

Minghao rolled over and squinted in the sunlight. The afternoon sun streaming in the living room window was blinding and he’d had a rough night last night. He ran his fingers over his aching face and dreaded looking in the mirror.

 

Rejection after rejection had taken their toll on Minghao over the last six months and he was reduced to sleeping on Chenle’s couch. It was no good for his body, especially his back, and he tried to stretch and warm his aching bones up when he stood.

 

His face hurt really badly and when he went to the mirror he cursed the black eye and dark bruise on his jawline. Yanan’s gang had really gone to town on his face even though he begged them not to. He had an audition the day after, it was a long shot, but it was kind of his last hope.

 

He knew he never should have started selling. But he needed the money and a regular job wasn’t going to leave him any time for auditions and practicing. It wasn’t long before he was skimming a little off the top. Just a few pills here and there, something to take the edge off, something to help him get through his life.

 

Every day was another pit of misery and rejection. He had been so jubilant when Renjun left. He had been accepted to SM just as he dreamed and Minghao was happy for his friend. It was proof that dreams could come true. If Renjun could make it, with his heavily accented Korean and his jacked teeth, then anyone could. But the drugs had become more and more important, a bigger part of his life every day, and soon he was skipping auditions to get wasted and missing appointments because he was hungover or still drunk.

 

As he stared at himself in the mirror he wondered when his life had taken such a wrong turn. He came here to make his dreams come true and now he was just a step above a common junkie. He should have gone home but would he have been better off? Minghao wasn’t sure.

 

“What happened to you?” Chenle asked from the doorway. They had become close, closer after Renjun had left, and the younger boy wasn’t reticent about expressing his views on Minghao’s increasingly downward spiral. “They got you didn’t they?” Chenle just shook his head. “I told you. You can’t outsmart Yanan. He’s got guys everywhere. Next time they’ll break your legs and then what are you going to do?”

 

Minghao sighed. Chenle was right. He looked at his watch and was thankful it was still on his wrist. It had been a gift for his fifteenth birthday from his grandparents and Yanan’s guys hadn’t taken it from him.

 

He went back to the couch and lay down. “I’ve got study group and then vocal lessons. Then I’m going to hang out at the park. You coming tonight?” Chenle asked as he walked across the room. He had changed out of his school uniform into one of his many expensive tshirt and jeans combinations and Minghao silently envied the other boy’s lifestyle. “I might.” He said quietly. He wanted to stay away from Yanan but he also needed to sell the rest of what he was holding and the park was the best shot he had.

 

He changed his clothes into the only clean set he had. He tied his Converse onto his feet, pulled a hat down low, and headed out the door as soon as the sun went down. His bruised face was evident but he was low on cosmetics and he needed them for his audition tomorrow. He wandered along the street towards the park and sat on a bench. The bag of pills in his pocket were his last chance. If he could get rid of them he could pay Yanan back and save his legs from being broken. But he also risked selling for a different gang on Yanan’s territory. His hands fingered the bag tentatively as he thought about the last 6 months.

 

It started out small, selling small deals here and there, just enough to make some money. Minghao had tried a few things at home but here, without parents to catch him, he sought an escape. Soon he was taking bigger and bigger deals to support his own habit and his profit margins were slipping. If it wasn’t for Chenle he would be on the streets. Tears filled his eyes and he quickly blinked them away. In that moment his dreams seemed so far away but he wouldn’t go home. He couldn’t. Not after how he left. And not in this condition, skinny and strung out, his hair too long and his eyes sunken in with big dark circles underneath them. When had things got so out of control.

 

He looked across to the park and debated whether to go over there and try to sell the pills or whether to risk going down to the other big park near the river. The kids down there were rougher and Minghao’s bluff was big but in this state he was weak and alone. He would be easy prey for a gang of three or more.

 

That first night he went to the park it had seemed so magical, a place where friends came together to hang out and have fun, just like at home. He remembered the boy with the wild violet hair who called him cute and gave him such a warm feeling inside. He would give anything to feel that again, to feel the pure rush of dancing with someone who made him feel that way, a natural high unlike the chemical high he was constantly chasing.

 

He had never seen that boy again. Every night he wandered the park hoping to catch a glimpse of purple in the crowd. But dreams came true for some and he must have been accepted at his audition. Minghao wondered if he would ever see him again. Sadness washed over him and he fingered the bag of pills in his pocket again. “Fuck it.” He muttered to himself and opened the bag, put one into the back of his mouth, and swallowed it dry. He coughed a little and it hurt his throat but ten minutes later he was feeling great. He decided to risk the park and Yanan’s guys and wandered in that direction.

 

On the way to the park he walked into the big supermarket. In the beginning it had been so easy, with his cute features, and his neat street style. He could walk in and take whatever he wanted without the cameras or the security guard being suspicious. But now, with his increasingly ragged appearance and the dark circles under his eyes he drew more attention. But the chemicals coursing through his veins had taken the edge off his fear and he wandered the aisles looking for what he wanted. He grabbed a can of his favourite energy drink and looked around, slipping the can into his pocket, before heading into the next aisle. He wandered along the cosmetics aisle and picked up a concealer. It would really help for tomorrow’s audition and he pushed the packet up the sleeve of his sweater.

 

He looked around and turned towards the door. He tried to walk casually towards the door but the adrenaline combined with the drugs in his system were overwhelming his common sense and he began to walk faster. He saw the door and was just about through when he felt a hand on his arm. “Excuse me. You can’t leave. You need to come with me.” Minghao turned to see a security guard frowning down at him and panicked. He kicked out at the guy, connecting with his leg, slipping out of his grasp and began to run.

 

He ran down the street but his stamina wasn’t what it used to be and the security guard caught him easily. “I’ve been watching you for weeks you little punk. And now I’ve got you.” He grabbed Minghao by the arm making the skinny boy wince with pain only matched by the pain in his eyes when the police turned up.

 

They searched him on the street, found the stolen Items, found the bag of pills. And Xu Minghao found himself in the back of a police car on the way to be charged with theft, drug possession and assault.


	5. Chapter 5

 

A feeling washed over Junhui before he even opened his eyes. A feeling of the universe shifting, like something was about to happen, something he couldn’t avoid. He had a feeling of destiny taking over. It was hard to explain or describe, like an energy surrounded him, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

 

He rolled out of bed and went into the kitchen of their tiny dorm. He was one of only two trainees at his company and the last six months had been a whirlwind of constant work. Training day and night, dance and vocal training, Korean lessons and anything else his company deemed necessary. And he couldn’t be happier. His company was fairly small but had a good reputation and joining had been the best decision he ever made. He just couldn’t wait to debut.

 

“Hey Soonyoung!” He called out to the dark haired Korean boy making toast in the kitchen. Their kitchen was barely big enough for the two of them so Junhui went into the living room to wait for space. It was cold and he shivered a little. “How come the heat’s not on?” he asked and Soonyoung just chuckled. “It’s broken again!”

 

When Soonyoung emerged with his simple breakfast in his hands Junhui went into the kitchen. He made toast and tea and carried it out to join Soonyoung in the living room. Soonyoung tossed a blanket to him and he wrapped it around his shoulders while he clutched his tea. Their company didn’t have a lot of money for luxuries like coffee, or toothpaste, or even working heating. But Junhui was lucky enough to have his parents supporting him and he was due for an allowance the following day. He curled up in the blanket and dreamed of hot coffee and blocks of chocolate and maybe some new socks. Allowance day was the best.

 

“What’s the schedule for today?” He asked Soonyoung. “Don’t know.” The other boy responded. They had become incredibly close over the last six months, like brothers even, and Junhui relied on Soonyoung’s irrepressible optimism to keep him going sometimes. It was hard, especially being the only two trainees, they knew there was no hope of debuting until they had at least two more. And the company had been searching for six months and the right ones were still elusive.

 

There was a knock at the door and Junhui got up to open it. “Hey Seungcheol.” He said and smiled at the older boy. Seungcheol had been their manager for three months and was barely older than the trainees. He had been given the job fresh out of University and had surprised them with his competence and caring nature. The three of them relied on each other, they were all new and learning, and things weren’t getting any easier.

 

“Might have some work for you guys. Some new idol wants backup dancers and im going to send you  out for the audition. It’s tomorrow so come up with something good to audition with. Ok?” he said as he walked into their kitchen. “No coffee?” he asked as he looked in the containers and Junhui shook his head. “There’s only tea left.”

 

Seungcheol mixed his mug of tea and sat on the couch next to Soonyoung. “Make sure you come up with something exciting for the audition. Ok?” he said smiling at the dark haired boy. “I’d really like you guys to get this. Plus it’s a paying job.” Soonyoung smiled back. “Sure thing Cheol. You can count on me.” He broke out into a grin that went all the way up to his eyes and Junhui envied his constantly optimistic nature. He had never ever met anyone so unstoppably enthusiastic about life as Soonyoung.

 

“I’ve got to go back to the company soon. We’re having open auditions this afternoon and hopefully we’ll find someone. You guys want to come and hang around? No one will care and you might be able to help.” Suencheol sighed and tipped his head back with his eyes closed. “We could use the help. No one seems right. I don’t know how many boys have walked through the doors in the last six months but they’re all wrong.”

 

Junhui put his cup down and headed for the shower. The hot water was just as sketchy as the heating and he hated nothing more than a cold shower. He smirked at Soonyoung still chatting with Seungcheol as he headed for the bathroom.

 

 

He soaped his body and shampooed his platinum white hair. He used to wear it violet but a few months ago he decided he needed a change. He brushed his teeth and quickly got out so Soonyoung would at least get some hot water. Once he was dry he dressed for a day of work. He pulled on his favorite sweatpants and a black tshirt over a white tank. He added a hoodie. It was cold but he knew as soon as Soonyoug started working him in the dance studio he would be drenched in sweat. Soonyoung was a genius choreographer and a talented songwriter. Junhui was already considered to be the visual of the group and they hadn’t even added anyone else yet. Seungcheol always joked that finding Junhui with his amazing visuals was like finding a gold mine and the fact that he was a talented singer, dancer and actor was just icing on the cake. He inspected his face in the mirror, adding a little makeup and styling his hair. He was a trainee and always represented his company, no matter how small, and he wanted to always look his best.

 

He waited with Seungcheol while Soonyoung showered and they headed out the door of their tiny apartment. The company was just around the corner and they followed the path they followed almost every day, walking through the city, past the familiar shops and restauants, into their company building’s back door. They didn’t want to go through the front as the foyer would already be full of hopefuls waiting for their audiitons. Boys would be lined up out onto the street.

 

“Hey Mingyu!” Seungcheol called out to the tall boy walking towards them. Kim Mingyu was in charge of PR at their company and was new to the job. He was, like Suenghceol, young and smart, and enthusiastic about the future of their company. “Hey Seungcheol.” He said back and smiled at the two trainees trailing him. “You ready to start the auditions? The CEO is already waiting.” Seungcheol nodded. “You boys want to come hang around? We’re using the dance room anyways so you wont be able to practice until we’re done.” Mingyu asked and they nodded enthusiastically. Soonyoug and Junhui trailed the other two down the long corridor towards the practice room where they spent most of their time. The room was set up with a long table and they walked in and quickly bowed to their company CEO who insisted on being present for all auditions. Suencheol took a seat on one side and Mingyu sat on the other and the two trainees went over to the long bench near the lockers to sit and observe and see if they would get an addition to their group.


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

Minghao opened his eyes. He had spent a long cold night asleep on the hard bench in the police cells. Someone was banging on the door to wake him up and when he opened his eyes an officer called through the trap in the door. “You’re leaving. Someone posted your bail.” He sat up in shock wondering if someone had contacted his parents.

 

But when he was walked out of the police cells he saw Chenle standing there waiting for him. “You better not skip out on me Minghao.” The usually jocular boy had a serious expression on his face. Minghao knew he wasn’t happy.

 

He gathered his things from the admissions desk and looked over his paperwork. He had to be at court in eight weeks. “You’re lucky you’re underage and this is your first charge.” The police officer frowned at him. “Get your shit together kiddo. And make sure you attend court or you’ll be locked up.” He couldn’t get out of there quick enough. The night before he had to think quickly when he was arrested. Not only was he holding, but he was also in the country illegally, and luckily had said he was just on a week’s holiday. He didn’t know how he had gotten away with it but he was just thankful that he had for whatever reason. Maybe the arresting officer felt sorry for him, maybe he was almost at the end of his shift, maybe he was just tired. But for whatever reason they had gone easly on him at the police station, believed his story about being on holiday, and not turned him straight over to immigration. They downgraded his theft charge but the assault and drug possession stayed. He didn’t know what would happen when he went to court. Deportation would be the worst. Worse than being locked up. He couldn’t face his parents.

 

When they got outside Chenle exploded. “What the actual fuck are you thinking?” He shouted as they crossed the street. “Stealing? Petty theft? How dumb are you? You got locked up over a fucking can of drink and an eyeliner?” Chenle shook his head at his friend’s stupidity.

 

“Is that it? Is that the end of the drugs?” Minghao shook his head. He had left six pills and a few joints at home just in case. Chenle scowled as the walked. “I want it gone Minghao. I like you but this has gone too far. My parents are important people and I’m going to make it as an idol and I can’t risk having you ruin that. What if they raid the apartment? They can do that you know.”

 

Minghao has never felt smaller. The last six months had been rough but this was rock bottom. The hole left in his system by the drugs was filled by a sinking sadness and desperation. “I’m sorry Chenle. You’ve been great to me and I’m a shitty friend.” Minghao blinked his tears away as he stared at the sky. It was cold and clear. A day like today should be cloudy to match his mood but the sun best down on him, almost taunting him, gracing him with its light but none of its warmth.

 

Warmth was a thing of the past.

 

 

Minghao debated even turning up for the audition. He had bore the brunt of so much rejection. He didn’t think he could take any more. On the other hand this was maybe his last hope. He stepped into the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. When had his dreams escaped his grasp? When did the boy staring back at him, all hollow cheeks and dark eyes, become a stranger? He stripped himself naked, dropping his dirty clothes on the floor, the smell of the police cells tainting his skin. He washed himself raw in the hot shower, scrubbing every inch of his body, washing his hair and brushing his teeth.

 

He dressed in his only clean set of clothing. Ironically, it was the exact outfit he had come to Korea in, a tank and black skinny jeans and a flannel tied around his waist. He added his Converse and used the last of his cosmetics to try and hide the black eye and sunken shadows on his face. He had a little mascara left and it was kind of dry but it was enough. He wished desperately that he had the eyeliner but he couldn’t even borrow some from Chenle because the other boy wasn’t into makeup.

 

He walked along the cold street shivering. The weather had really taken a turn for the worst and he had no winter coat. He walked quicker to try and warm up as he hurried past people on the street. He envied their warm coats and boots and hot coffees, heading off to their warm offices, or their warm homes. Homes filled with love and comfort, with company, with people to hold them and tell them everything was going to be okay.

 

More than material comforts Minghao missed the emotional comfort of having someone to care for you. He and Chenle were close but not that kind of close. At night, when he missed his home and missed his parents, Minghao would curl around Panda and hold his last remnant of home against his chest.

 

But on the street he could find no comfort other than the pill he had stashed in his jeans pocket. He sat down inside an empty bus stop and twirled it between his fingers. It was innocuous looking, small and round and white, it could be a headache tablet or an allergy pill. But it was a choice. A choice to be made on his future. On where he was headed in life and if he would make it, if he would have to go home in shame, maybe even if he would live or die.

 

Minghao took the pill and tossed it into the gutter and got up. He made his way along the street to the company building and almost cried when he saw the line outside. Boys were lined up out the door, all dressed well and made up, and no one with dirty converse or a bruised face. He sighed and took his place at the end and let his mind wander as he waited.

 

After waiting for what felt like hours the line finally shortened enough for Minghao to wait inside. He was still shivering and the blast of heating shocked him. He rubbed the feeling back into his fingers and began to stretch and warm up his body and go over in his mind what exactly he was going to do when he got in there.

 

He was the last one in. he was surprised to find the panel was one older man in a suit and two younger who couldn’t have been much older than him, four or five years maybe. Minghao had his birthday months ago and was seventeen now but some days he felt much older. The three men waited as he introduced himself. He kept his head down instinctively, trying to hide the dark circles under his eyes, the bruises on his face. His arms were bruised as well as he took off his flannel. He focused all the energy he had left and began to dance. He tried some of his bboy moves but his body wasn’t as strong as it used to be but he did his best. After he danced he sang and never noticed the two boys watching from the back of the room.

 

“Thank you.” The youngest looking man on the panel said as he barely looked up. “We’ll call you and let you know.” He smiled gently at Minghao and Minghao knew rejection barely concealed behind his bright white smile.

 

He turned to walk away, quickly blinking his tears of failure back, never noticing the boy with the bright white hair get up. He never saw the white haired boy pointing at his retreating back, furiously conferring with the third man on the panel, the one with dark hair and pale skin and rosy lips. He never noticed any of this.

 

But as he walked out of the building he felt someone grab his arm. He turned in surprise and was met with eyes he had only seen once before but would never forget. His hair used to be violet but now it was bright platinum white but Minghao would always recognise his face. It was burned into his mind ever since that one night in the park when he was a different person living a different life.

 

“Don’t go. Our Manager wants to meet you.” Junhui smiled at him and for the first time in a long time Minghao felt the warmth of comfort and care surround him.


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

 

Jun watched on in shock once he recognised the skinny kid in the middle of the room. He was skinnier, his hair longer, his face had lost it’s glow. His eyes that once sparkled with amusement and a love of life were dull and sunken. But it was definitely him. He could never forget the face of that mysterious boy that turned up in the park and danced with him on a warm night six months ago.

 

Jun wondered what had happened to him to make him a shell of his former self. The boy he met was wild and joyful, cocky even, brimming with confidence and ability. This boy couldn’t lift his eyes off the floor. But he still moved in that mesmerising way and when Jun heard him sing he knew it. He had to get the company to take him. He was the one.

 

He watched on in dismay as the skinny boy was dismissed before running over to the table. “What are you doing?” Soonyoung asked as Junhui took off towards the table. “Seungcheol. I know that kid.” Junhui hissed as he turned his eyes away from the CEO in shyness. “Please. Give this one a chance. He’s got something special.” Seunghcheol looked from Junhui to the CEO and Mingyu who both shrugged. “Its up to you Seungcheol. It’s your group to manage and if we don’t find two more boys then we’re going to be delayed even further.” The CEO looked at Mingyu who looked troubled. “The kid looks like a junkie Seungcheol. You sure?” Junhui’s eyes desperately pleaded with the three men facing him. “Please. I’ll take responsibility for him. I’m telling you he’s special. We need him.” Seungcheol could see the sincerity in Junhui’s eyes. He knew the kid was smart and sensible and wouldn’t throw his future away on a whim.

 

“Fine. Go tell him we’ll take him on a probationary trial. He can come to the dorm if he wants or he can keep his own living arrangements. But one foot out of line and he’s gone.” Junhui took off with a grin. “You wont regret it. The kid’s a star!”

 

He jogged out of the room and found Minghao wandering down the corridor with his hands in his pockets, head down, feet dragging as he walked. He grabbed his arm and spun him around and he knew Minghao recognised him as soon as their eyes met.

 

“Don’t go. Our Manager wants to meet you.” Junhui smiled softly at him. His heart broke at the deterioration in the boy’s appearance. “I looked for you at the park but you never came back.” Minghao said quietly and Junhui smiled again. “No. I got my chance and I’ve convinced them to give you one too. You want a chance Minghao?” Minghao’s face lit up and Junhui caught a glimpse of the boy he remembered. “Really?” “Yes.” Junhui said but his face turned stern. “But I’ve personally vouched for you. You’re my responsibility. So don’t fuck it up for me. Okay?” Minghao smiled again. “I won’t. I need this chance Junhui. More than you know…..” His eyes turned vacant as he thought.

 

“Do I come back tomorrow?” Minghao asked and Junhui could see his hands shaking. “Do you want to come to the dorm? It’s nothing fancy and you’ll have to share with me but you’re welcome.” Minghao’s big eyes widened as he nodded at the taller boy. “I want to. Please.” “Ok. Get your stuff and meet me back here in an hour. Soonyoung and I will take you home with us.”

 

Minghao walked back to Chenle place as fast as he could. He walked in to find Chenle getting ready to go out. “I got in.”

He said quietly. “Remember Junhui? He’s going to help me. I’m going to their dorm.” Chenle’s face turned from shock to realisation to happiness. “I’m glad. Make the most of it. Ok?” He grabbed Minghao by the shoulders and stared him in the eye. “You can’t fuck this up Minghao.”

 

“Thanks for everything.” He said. “I hope you get in at SM.” “I will.” Chenle laughed his familiar high pitched squeal and grabbed his backpack. “Lock the door on your way out. And I’ll see you round.” With a squeeze on his shoulder his friend was gone.

 

Minghao’s entire life fit into his backpack and he packed it and stared at it as he sat on the couch. He turned his attention and examined the contents of the clear bag in his hands. A few pills, a few crystalline rocks, two joints. He took a deep breath and crushed the bag in his hands. Anger and resentment filled his body. He was so mad at himself. A few tears fell as he went into the bathroom, tipped the contents into the toilet, and flushed. He was done. He had to be.

 

He tossed his backpack over his shoulder, turned the lock, closed the door behind him. Time for a fresh start.

 

 

Junhui was waiting for him outside the company building with another boy with dark hair and sharply angled eyes that glittered with amusement and good nature. “Hi.” Junhui said as he took Minghao’s bag for him. “This is Soonyoung. It’s been just the two of us for six months.” Soonyoung pulled the surprised boy into a hug. “Junhui said you’re an amazing dancer!” He said excitedly into the squishy hug. “I can’t wait to work together.” Minghao wasn’t big on hugs with strangers but the warmth coming from the other boy was palpable and he relaxed immediately. He had a feeling he was going to really like Soonyoung.

 

“Do you need us to help you get the rest of your stuff tomorrow?” Junhui asked and Minghao shook his head. “That’s it.” He shivered in the cold wind and Junhui opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind and closed it. “Come on then.” He said as he put his arm around Minghao’s shoulders. “Let’s go home.”


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

Jun didn’t fail to notice the boy’s lack of a winter coat. No beanie, no gloves, just a backpack and a thin flannel damp from the cold wind and slight drizzle outside. Soonyoung led the way and let them into their tiny apartment near the company building. “It’s not much,” he warned Minghao but the boy was pale and cold and tired looking. He just smiled at Jun as they walked in. “This is all ours?” he asked, wide eyed as he looked around, and Jun had to chuckle although he felt strangely sad.

 

Jun took him down the corridor and opened the door to the bedroom. It wasn’t huge but it was big enough for two single beds with a small bedside table in between. A closet stood off to one side and on the opposite wall was a full length mirror. “We only have one bathroom,” Jun said as Minghao fell onto the bed. “I haven’t slept in a bed for forever…” he said quietly with his eyes closed.

 

Jun sat on the opposite bed and stared at him. The boy was way too thin. Jun heard soft snores coming from him and wondered how tired the boy must be to fall asleep so easily. He wondered where he had been and what had happened to him to make him so tired. Minghao was still shivering slightly in his sleep and Jun leaned over and slipped his thin damp flannel off his arms. He used to have muscles in his arms, even though he was skinny, but now he looked so weak. His upper arms were littered with bruises, his wrist was also bruised like someone had grabbed him too hard, but there were no track marks. Whatever he was on at least he wasn’t injecting it.

 

Jun looked at the clock. Seungcheol would be here in about two hours so he decided the best thing would be to let the boy sleep. He was out like a light on top of the bedding so Jun grabbed the thick quilt off his bed, the new one his parents had sent him for the winter, and laid it over Minghao’s sleeping body and hoped he would stop shivering soon.

 

 

 

 

“Hey.” Soonyoung said from the kitchen when Jun walked out. He was making tea and had three cups out on the counter. “How is he?” “Sleeping,” Jun said as he added sugar to the cups while Soonyoung poured the hot water. “I’m so glad Seungcheol agreed. You guys have to trust me on this. He’s really got something special. I just don’t know what’s happened to him in the last six months…” Jun trailed off as he remembered a chance encounter that had never left his memory, a random meeting of two people fleeting but unforgettable, it was like destiny. Jun had never sat in on audition before. If he hadn’t been there Minghao would have been back out on the street and they probably wouldn’t have met again. But through two meetings by chance their fates had been woven together and Junhui wondered if that feeling he had when he woke was a tugging on the red string of fate.

 

He took his tea and went to the couch. “He’s got nothing Soonyoung. When I met him in the park I assumed he was another one of those privileged rich kids. He had nice clothes and looked smart and talented, seemed nice, very well spoken ….” Jun sipped his tea too quickly and burned his tongue. “I could tell he had an edge though. But now he’s different, he seems lost, I’m almost sure he’s on something but I checked his arms and there’s no marks.”

 

 

Soonyoung looked troubled. “Are you sure this is the right thing Jun?” he said as he also sipped his tea. The heat was still off and it was cold in the apartment and steam from their mugs whirled around their faces as they spoke. “Yes.” Junhui was stoic and finite. His decision was correct. He knew he was the right one. “You just wait until you see him. Once he’s slept and eaten, when he dances it’s magic, he’s really got something special.” Soonyoung squeezed his friend’s shoulder tight before reaching for a rug as he shivered a little. “ I trust you Jun. If you say so then I belive you.”

 

They sat in silence as they thought through the day. It had been eventful and was about to become even more so when Seungcheol knocked at the door and Soonyoung let him in. “Where is he?” Seungcheol asked and Jun took him to the doorway. Bundled up in the quilt, with only his face poking out, Minghao looked like a baby. He had stopped shivering and was sleeping soundly. Seungcheol sighed. “Let him sleep,” he said as they turned back towards the living area.

 

“Tell me everything you know before he wakes up.” Seungcheol was nervous about this but, like Soonyoung, he trusted Junhui’s judgement. They were also already six months behind schedule. They had no hope of debuting their group until they had at least 4 members and they just hadn’t been able to find the right ones. Junhui and Soonyoung had been training alone and they were running out of time. “I met him at the park and we danced together,” Junhui said quietly. “He’s incredible. Like no one I’ve ever seen before. And he has this charisma, this uniqueness, really Seungcheol….” Junhui was having trouble putting his feelings into words and he grasped for the right thing to say to express the aura of the boy sleeping in the next room.

 

“If he debuts in our group he’s going to be the member that everyone falls in love with.” It was a big call but it was the only way Junhui could express the magic Minghao had in his personality. He had only met the boy once and he could never forget him and he knew it wouldn’t be him alone. He knew they would all love him. Everyone he met. The whole world was going to fall in love with Minghao and Junhui was going to be by his side to watch on. He just knew.

 

 

He went back into the bedroom and pulled at the quilt a little. “Minghao. Wake up,” he cooed softly as he gently touched the boy’s hair. The walk in the cold drizzle combined with the sleep had smudged his makeup remaining from the audition and Junhui could see the angry purple bruise surrounding one of his eyes. “Wake up,” he said again and when the boy’s eyes fluttered open and met Junhui’s they both just stared for a while. Junhui broke the eye contact first and looked down at his hands. “Our Manager is here and he wants to talk.” Panic flooded Minghao’s face as he realised he would have to tell them everything. Would there still be a place for him here?

 

But Junhui could feel the frightened boy’s pain and he held his hand out to him. “Come on. It’s all going to be fine,” he said and Minghao really believed him. Maybe it all would be fine. He held out his own hand and let Junhui pull him from the bed and lead him towards the living room. In that moment he would have followed Junhui anywhere.


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

Soonyoung had made them both another cup of tea. The one he handed to Minghao was strong and hot and had a lot of sugar in it and the four boys sat in silence in the tiny living room. Minghao was clutching at his mug with shaking hands like it was saving his life and maybe it was with its sweet warmth. He was terrified and clung onto it with both hands as it warmed him from the outside and in. He stared at the swirling liquid as he tried to focus on what was happening. He looked up to see Junhui in front of him again holding out a hoodie. Minghao pulled it over his head and hoped Junhui could see the gratefulness in his eyes as he stared at the beautiful boy with platinum white hair.

 

His mind wandered as he stared at him. He was stunning. His face was like it was hand crafted by some mythical god of beauty. His white hair was cut fashionably and his skin glowed with good health and rest. His body looked as long and lean and strong as it had all those months ago when they danced together under the violet glow of a floodlight in what seemed like another lifetime. And when Junhui turned his attention from the Manager and smiled at Minghao he felt his body flooded with another kind of sweet warmth. He knew then and there that Junhui was going to save his life.

 

“I need to know everything.” Seungcheol said. “Yes Sir,” Minghao said quietly as his eyes dropped and he deffered to the older and more senior boy. Seungcheol looked around the room and realised he was talking to him and let out a little chuckle. “You can just call me Seungcheol.” He smiled gently but his smile soon turned to a frown as the boy began to speak.

 

 

“My name is Xu Minghao and I’m seventeen years old. I can sing and dance, bboy, and I have martial arts skills. I’ve been here for just over six months.” He spoke clearly but continued to stare at his hands as his voice flowed tentatively out of him. “It’s my dream to become an idol. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

 

“Parents?” Seungcheol asked and he shook his head. “They don’t know I’m here.” Seungcheol sighed wearily. “I guess you’ve got no papers or anything?” Minghao shook his thick mop of too-long hair as he trembled with withdrawal and nerves. “I’ve been sleeping on my friend’s couch for six months. I don’t have a home or any money. I’m here illegally and I have to go to court in 8 weeks.” Minghao picked at a jagged finger nail while he waited to be asked to leave.

 

“What for?” Seungcheol asked and Mighao sighed heavily. “Shoplifting, assault and drug possession.” Tears filled his eyes and he was surprised to feel Junhui’s arm around him as he tried to blink them back. He tried to hold it together but he knew Junhui could feel his body trembling. Whether from fear, cold, or the drugs leaving his system, or an overwhelming combination of all of them, Minghao blinked his tears back and stared up at the roof. He waited to be asked to leave immediately and wondered where he was going to go, if he could go back to Chenle’s or if he would have to sleep in the park, or if somehow as a last resort he could get the money together to get back to China.

 

Once he started he couldn’t stop. One tear slipped free, then another, then they streamed down his face. The reality of how far he had fallen, how far away his dreams had become, suddenly became overwhelming as he realised he had probably destroyed his dreams with his reckless downward spiral. Junhui pulled him close and he melted into the warmth and let the other boy’s shirt soak up his tears as he sobbed uncontrollably.

 

When he slowed and finally stopped he felt like he had been crying for hours although in reality it had only been a minute or two. But instead of rejection and anger he saw sympathy on the three faces staring at him.

 

“Did you bring drugs here Minghao?” Seungcheol asked and he shook his head. “Will you let us check?” Seungcheol was right to be concerned and he nodded his head. “I’ll check his stuff.” Junhui sighed and got up from the couch and disappeared into their shared room. Seungcheol looked from Soonyoung back to the puffy faced boy wiping his nose with his sleeve. “Do you want to change?” He asked and Minghao nodded. He did. He really did.

 

“I’ll speak to the company lawyer. I can’t make any promises Minghao but we can try and sort this out for you. But..” he looked up to make sure Junhui hadn’t returned before he leaned in close. “You mess this up and you’re out. This is your one and only warning Minghao. One foot out of line and you’re gone.” Minghao nodded furiously. “I promise,” he mumbled as two tears dripped again and ran down his cheeks.

 

“Junhui is sweet and seems to already have a soft spot for you. Rely on him. He’ll take care of you.” Seungcheol smiled gently and Soonyoung did too. “Soonyoung is a smart and responsible young man. You have any problems go to him Minghao. Ok?”

 

Seungcheol got up from the couch and tossed a couple of notes from his pocket onto the coffee table. “Buy yourselves something nice for dinner. You’ve got the audition for the backup dancer job tomorrow. Minghao, you can go too, you’re not on the list but they might still let you audition. I’ve reported the broken heating to the landlord but you’ll be cold tonight. It should be looked at tomorrow.”

 

He wished them both goodnight and left. Soonyoung followed him to the door and they spoke in hushed whispers. “Cheol do you really think this is going to be okay?” Soonyoung was rightly concerned. All he thought about was work, hard work and doing the right thing, and was desperate to debut. Seungcheol patted his shoulder but Soonyoung could see the doubt in his eyes.

 

 

“Soonyoung I need to trust you. Any issues, anything at all, I’m relying on you to come to me.” Soonyoung went back inside, picked up the notes, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Seungcheol had left enough for them to get at least three pizzas and Coke and it had been a while since they’d had such a treat. Soonyoung wanted to make the most of it knowing the money had come out of Seungcheol’s own pocket. “Do you like pizza Minghao?” he asked and the boy smiled shyly and nodded.

 

 

 

Junhui upended Minghao’s backpack onto the floor between their beds. A pair of jeans and a pair of shorts, a few pairs of underwear and socks, two tshirts and a cap. An almost empty bottle of foundation and one mascara. A phone with a cracked screen. And right down the bottom the only thing in the bag that looked clean and cared for. Junhi’s hands ran over the soft fur of the stuffed panda and tears welled in his eyes.

 

He didn’t know how or why this boy, this lonely and troubled lost boy, had been thrown in his path but he wasn’t one to argue with destiny or fate. They were drawn together for a reason and Junhui got up from the floor. He pulled the covers back on Minghao’s bed and stashed the panda safely under the blanket. He then went to his closet and pulled out a tshirt and a spare pair of sweatpants and some clean socks and put them on top of the covers with a clean towel.

 

He scooped up the dirty and worn out clothing from Minghao’s backpack and tossed it into the washing machine along with a few of his things and started the cycle. By the time he wandered back to the living room Seungcheol was gone and Soonyoung and Minghao were on the couch keeping warm with a couple of blankets. “Hey! I’ve ordered us pizza! Seungcheol’s treat!” Soonyoung smiled happily up at him and Junhui joined them on the couch. As the tv blared and the three boys laughed along at some stupid variety show three voices, rather than two, somehow made the tiny apartment seem more alive.

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

Jun found Minghao in their bedroom. Silent, the lost boy had started to cry again, staring at the pile of clean warm clothing left on his bed. They had barely spoken but an unshakeable bond had already formed between them somehow. “Hey!” Junhui was desperate to lighten the mood. “It’s just some clean clothes!” he jokingly pushed the other boy by the shoulder and was pleased to see him laugh through his tears. The day had been so overwhelming. Minghao just wanted to sleep. He didn’t know how he would ever be able to put into words what Junhui had done for him today, let alone repay him, but he decided then and there that he would spend every day they were together devoted to making up for the other boy’s kindness.

 

He stood in the room holding the clean clothes, the towel and the socks, and as they locked eyes he felt it. It rushed through him like electricity, it made him feel hot and cold at the same time, like his body was tingling all over. He stared at Junhui, his perfect face and his soft hair, his mouth drawn up into a gentle smile, and Minghao wondered absentmindedly if this was what falling in love felt like.

 

Junhui held his gaze until he began to blush and looked away. “You need to be quick.” He said as he stared at the ground, suddenly shy, caught staring too long at the fluffy haired boy. “The hot water is a bit sketchy.” When Minghao left the room Junhui quickly changed his own clothing and slid into his bed. He left the light on and buried himself under the thick cozy quilt and stared at the wall while he listened to the sound of running water.

 

It had been such a long day. Junhui felt emotionally exhausted. And they had barely come up with any choreography for their auditions tomorrow. He suddenly remembered the clothes in the washing machine and jumped up to put them in the dryer. He didn’t want Minghao to have nothing clean to wear tomorrow.  He slid back into his now-warm bed and closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep. But when he heard the door creak open and then click closed he couldn’t help himself.

 

He rolled over and watched Minghao sit on his bed and towel his hair dry. He looked so thin, so small in Junhui’s clothes, so fragile and young. But so beautiful. The purple bruise around his left eye was visible now he had washed his face. The shirt hung loose on his shoulders exposing a prominent collarbone and a few suspicious bruises just below it. Junhui shook his head a little at the thought that anyone could hurt this precious human being.

 

“Junhui….” Minghao whispered as he hung the wet towel up and turned the light off. “Thank you.” He couldn’t look at Junhui as he whispered the words while he slid his skinny body under the thin covers of his bed. It was cold, so cold in the room, and Junhui could almost feel him shivering on the other bed. “Move over,” Junhui said in reply as he tossed his quilt onto the other bed and climbed in beside Minghao. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close and held on tight until he felt the younger stop shivering. And Minghao and Junhui spent their first night together wrapped in the warmth of feelings that were fresh and new and comforting.

 

 

 

 

 

Junhui opened his eyes to find Minghao’s head tucked into his chest. The boy was sleeping soundly with his mouth wide open and there was a big patch of drool on Junhui’s tshirt. He chuckled a little and unwound himself from Minghao’s body. He had slept surprisingly well crammed onto the tiny single bed with Minghao half on top of him and he felt great. He got up and stretched and had to smile down at the sight of Minghao, stuffed panda in his hand, still completely out to it. He was just so cute it almost broke Junhui’s heart.

 

Junhui found Soonyoung in the kitchen making tea. “Allowance day!” Junhui grinned. Coffee and yoghurt and snacks, some new socks, maybe even another round of pizzas were on the cards. Especially if one of them was lucky enough to get the job today. “Don’t forget our audition this afternoon.” Soonyoung grinned and Junhui nodded as they swapped places and Junhui got out two mugs from the cupboard. “Is he still sleeping?” Soonyoung asked. All Minghao had done was sleep since he arrived yesterday. “Yeah,” Junhui said.

 

He made the tea, fetched the clean clothes from the dryer, and took them into the bedroom. He folded them onto the end of the bed before he gently woke Minghao still clutching at his panda. “Time to get up Minghao.” Junhui cooed as he stroked his hair. He could feel him shaking in his sleep and he felt warm. Maybe too warm?

 

Minghao sat up and rubbed his eyes and smiled vaguely at Junhui. “How do you feel today?” Junhui asked as the colour drained from Minghao’s face. “I don’t feel so good,” he said and jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Junhui stood outside while he listened to the sound of Minghao retch his empty stomach into the toilet bowl. He thought this might happen.

 

After a few minutes Minghao emerged and followed Junhui to the living room. He curled up on the couch and gratefully accepted the tea but shook his head at the offer of food. “Does that hurt?” Soonyoung eyed his bruised face and Minghao shook his head. “This does though.” He lifted his shirt to show them a huge angry looking bruise spreading down the left side of his body. “Shit,” Soonyoung swore uncharacteristically as he inspected the swollen bruise. “Does it hurt to breathe?” Minghao shook his head. “I’ve had broken ribs before and it’s not broken. It’s just sore.”

 

He was still shaking but the colour began to return to his face. Junhui held out a piece of toast and he shook his head but the older boy insisted. “Please..” he pleaded and Minghao couldn’t say no. How was he ever going to deny Junhui anything he wanted. If he wanted Minghao to eat the toast then he would eat the toast. Strawberry jam dripped onto his fingers as he forced the sticky breakfast in but he began to feel better with the food in his burning stomach. He smiled gratefully at Junhui who smiled back and for a brief second the rest of the world disappeared.

 

“Come on Minghao. We’ve got an audition to get ready for!” Junhui gently chided him and he stuffed the last bite into his mouth.


	11. Chapter 11

 

The lineup of boys at the audition was enormous. They waited in the line patiently as it slowly snaked into the room. Soonyoung looked great, dressed neatly in an oversized white shirt and black pants, his dark hair smooth and shiny and healthy looking. He wore minimal makeup and glowed with the radiance of youth and good health. Junhui was dressed more fashionably in black ripped jeans and a white tank, his white hair wild and loose, his eyes heavily rimmed with a smoky shadow. He looked more like a model than an idol or a dancer.

 

 

They had helped Minghao out with some of their things. He wore his own faded and ripped jeans and his well worn Converse. Over the top he wore a black tank of Junhui’s and a white shirt similar to Soonyoung’s left open and unbuttoned. He had attempted to cover his bruised face with the absolute last scrape of his makeup and Junhui had lent him a black liner to enhance his eyes. The three of them looked like a real group, like they belonged together, and for the first time in a long time Minghao felt like he was a part of something.

 

His shivering came and went but he hadn’t thrown up again. His head pounded despite the painkillers Soonyoung had given him and he wanted nothing more than to sleep. It was cold and goosebumps pricked all over his skin and the other two boys, warm in their winter coats, stood close to him to try and block the wind. Finally they moved inside and it was better and they all began to warm up their muscles in the foyer of the building.

 

 

Minghao followed Soonyoung’s lead as they stretched. He stretched his legs and arms, but his back was sore and so were his ribs, and he couldn’t move as well as he wanted to. Junhui and Soonyoung tried to give him an idea of what they had planned for the audition but they didn’t have time or space to rehearse anything with him. They decided to do their routine as planned and Minghao would just improv as best as he could.

 

As they stepped into the room Minghao was taken back to the day before when a hollow shell of a boy stood in front of a similar panel and half heartedly moved his body. But today had a different feeling. He stood in between Junhui and Soonyoung and when the beat started and the other two began to move he felt himself come to life. He wasn’t as strong in his body as he used to be but he felt a strength and a power in his mind and his heart that he thought he lost forever.

 

He glanced to the side and saw Junhui’s hint of a smile and suddenly nothing mattered but dancing for the white haired boy who had taken him under his wing. He danced for no one but Junhui as the beat pounded and they moved around the floor. He wanted to impress him and Soonyoung, to show Junhui who he used to be, to show Soonyoung who he really was. They performed their choreography and he improvised in the centre and it was over too quickly.

 

“We’ll contact your Manager,” the woman said without looking up and the three boys walked out silently after bowing.

 

 

 

 

“That sucked. I thought we did well.” Minghao pouted and Junhui laughed aloud at his childish behaviour. “We did. What makes you think we didn’t?” “She didn’t like us.” Minghao’s face was crestfallen and the other two put their arms around him as they stepped out into the cold wind. “Minghao, auditions are like that, you never can tell. And whether she liked us or not doesn’t matter. If we’re right for the job we’ll get it and if not we might be right for the next one.” Soonyoung smiled at the fluffy haired boy enraptured with his optimism and maturity.

 

 

 Soonyoung was smart. Minghao could tell.

 

 

Junhui pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked his account balance as they wandered along the cold street. His allowance was in and he had money and it was the best feeling. Coffee and yoghurt and some fresh fruit were on his mind. He pulled the other two boys into a clothing store on their way back to the company and they wandered up and down the rows of things conferring over things they liked, things they wanted, things that would look great for auditions or would be comfortable for training.

 

Junhui picked out the new thick fluffy home socks he wanted and Soonyoung chose a bucket hat and after they paid they wandered out towards the supermarket. Coffee and cookies and other nice things were on Junhui’s mind until he watched Minghao shrink even smaller inside his thin shirt. He sighed to himself and told the other two to go ahead. “I’ll meet you inside!” he called as he turned back towards the clothing store.

 

When he met up with them in the supermarket he only had about $20 left. He could get the coffee and his yoghurt, maybe a bag of his favourite cookies, but he had spent the rest of his allowance on what was contained in the big bag he was carrying. He caught up with the other two and blushed, suddenly shy about what he had done, but he still held the bag out towards Minghao in the middle of the dairy aisle of the supermarket.

 

Minghao’s breath caught in his chest when he pulled out the thick winter coat and beanie. For the hundredth time tears filled his eyes and he willed them away as he stood amongst the yoghurt and milk and cheese. He couldn’t remember anyone doing anything nicer for him ever in his llife.

 

As his sickly stomach churned with withdrawl and his head pounded with regret a new feeling overwhelmed Minghao’s mind. A feeling beyond gratitude, beyond happiness, even beyond friendship. As Junhui ripped the tags off the puffy black quilted coat that matched his own in the middle of the supermarket and pulled it over Minghao’s shoulders he saw something in the other boy’s eyes. Something that made his heart pound and his knees feel weak. Something that made his life worth living.

 

 

As the bright white lights of the supermarket bore down on him and the soft warmth of the jacket slowed his shivering Minghao felt it. This was it, the moment when the string of fate that drew them together, bound his heart to Junhui with its invisible red strand.

 

This was the moment when he fell in love.


	12. Chapter 12

 

 

“That was a really nice thing to do Junhui.” Soonyoung whispered and smiled at the other as they wandered out of the supermarket with their bags. Soonyoung’s bag was filled with his favorite snacks and toiletries. Junhui’s bag was light with just a few items and it’s weightlessness matched the light feeling in his chest. Minghao carried nothing but he had a huge smile on his face as he walked along the path warm in his new jacket and beanie. “Just… I don’t know, be careful Junhui, don’t get too attached to him..” Soonoung’s smile turned into a frown as they walked.

 

Junhui watched the boy. A good night’s sleep and a warm coat had done wonders for him. But since the audition he seemed to have come alive and Junhui could see little glimpses and flashes of who he used to be. He was so childlike and innocent but Junhui knew his innocence masked the heart of someone who had already seen and done too much. He was street trash, a junkie and a thief, he was probably a master at lying and scheming and manipulation. And Junhui knew this was what had Soonyoung and Seuncheol concerned. But he had no concerns at all. He knew they were destined to be together and whatever happened to both of them would be up to fate to decide.

 

 

 

He stared at the boy’s soft features in the dying light of the day. His brown eyes were warm and huge and round and seemed to stare at everything with a fresh sense of wonder. His hair was too long and covered his ears with thick fluffy strands. His skin was pale and sallow and the dark circles under his eyes were still there. But his face radiated extraordinary beauty to Junhui, it was like a deity gathered all the perfect parts and put them together in a masterpiece of art especially for Junhui’s eyes.

 

He shook his head and snapped back to reality as Minghao slowed his long strides and gripped him by the arm. “I’m going to get that job Junhui! And if I don’t I’ll get the next one and I’ll pay you back. I’ll buy you everything you’ve ever wanted.” He smiled up at Junhui who felt himself melting in response to Minghao’s eyes filled with adoration and the warmth of his body pressed close.

 

Shit, Junhui swore inside his head as he returned Minghao’s smile, I can’t be doing this.

 

Junhui suddenly realised he was developing a crush on the other boy. He knew it couldn’t happen. He couldn’t let it develop any further. It was only going to cause him pain. This poor kid had already been through so much. He couldn’t take advantage of him or the way he looked up to Junhui. He’d seen the way girls looked at him, the way people responded to his charisma, and felt himself becoming the biggest victim of Minghao’s charms.

 

No, he wasn’t that kind of creep, he was a good guy. He would care for Minghao like an older brother. Be there for him, look out for him, help to heal him from his past. Junhui was determined to do the right thing.

 

They made it back to the apartment and walked in to find it warm and comforting. The heating had been fixed and the three boys delighted in stripping off their damp shoes and heavy coats. It had been a long day. They hadn’t been home more than ten minutes when Seungcheol turned up with a couple of bags of groceries and was also pleased to see the apartment was warm.

 

He put the bags on the bench in the kitchen and Soonyoung helped him to unpack the food. “How was today?” Seungcheol asked quietly and indicated the two boys curled up on the couch. “Fine.” Soonyoung said. “No dramas. He was actually pretty great in the audition Cheol. A good night’s sleep did him wonders. Although I don’t know how good his sleep was. It was really cold in here last night.”

 

Seungcheol smiled. That was good news. It was a good start. “Anything to be worried about?” Soonyoung shook his head. “Nah, but Junhui spent most of his parent’s allowance on a new coat for him, he’s really got a soft spot for the kid.” Soonyoung peeped around the corner and watched them on the couch watching the tv. Minghao was curled up like a cat, his head on Junhui’s lap, while Junhui softly stroked his hair.

 

“Just keep an eye on them Soonyoung. I don’t want Junhui to get hurt and a lot still hangs in the balance with this kid.” His phone started ringing and he stepped out of the room to answer as Soonyoung put the last few things away. When Seungcheol came back in the three were lined up on the couch with a kids cartoon blaring in the background.

 

“Well done boys. You all got excellent feedback from the audition. They wanted six dancers and you all got in.” Soonyoung leaped up off the couch in delight while Junhui threw his arms around Minghao. “A real job!” Soonyoung was bouncing off the walls with excitmement and the others just laughed at his expressive nature. “Yeah the pay won’t be very high but you know, its exposure, and it’s experience. You’re booked for three music show appearances and one concert. Two dance numbers per show. Rehearsal starts tomorrow.”

 

Seungcheol grinned at the jubilant mood in the room. He knew he was putting together something special and maybe Junhui was right about Minghao. Maybe they did need him. His bruises and gaunt appearance hadn’t stopped him from booking the job. With a few weeks of good food and proper rest the kid would be a star and he was starting to see what Junhui saw when he looked at the skinny kid with the mop of fluffy hair.

 

“There’s meat and vegetables to cook a healthy dinner.” Seungcheol smiled. “Make sure you have some rice and then get an early night. I want you in the studio working hard tomorrow. You need to learn the numbers for the job and you need to catch Minghao up on your other routines.” Seungcheol smiled at them again as three sweet faces blinked up at him from the couch. “I’ll be out all day tomorrow. The auditions aren’t working and we’re going to hold off on them for a while. Mingyu and I are going scouting at the performing arts schools instead.”

 

 

 

“Can you cook?” Junhui said softly as he moved Minghao’s body off his and got up. Minghao shook his head but Junhui grabbed him by the hand and pulled him into the kitchen. “Well you can help me anyway. Lets give Soonyoung a rest.” They washed their hands and sliced vegetables in a soothing silence, filled the rice cooker, stir fried the meat. And as the three sat around the table crammed into the tiny dining room Minghao felt like he was a part of something special. He felt like he had a family again.


	13. Chapter 13

 

 

 

Minghao had a new lease on life. A few weeks living in the cramped apartment with the other two boys, eating regularly and sleeping better, and working on nothing but his dancing had renewed him. His hair was still too long, his arms still too thin, but his bruises had healed and his body had cleansed itself of the chemical remnants of his past life. And every morning he woke with the dawn and lay silently in his bed as he watched the boy next to him sleep.

 

His body had missed the chemical effects, it had shaken and shook for days, he had endured fever and vomiting and the worst headaches of his life. But after a few days it got easier and he felt better. But his mind never missed the feeling of the chemical high coursing through his veins. His mind and his heart had a new addiction. He watched him when he danced, he listened to him singing in the shower, he could feel him breathing every night in his sleep. He was infatuated with the white haired boy who shared his room and held his heart captive with every glowing smile.

 

He had no plans to do anything about it. His life was too much of a whirlwind to even consider it. He knew he couldn’t tell him. It would ruin everything. But it didn’t matter to Minghao. He was the happiest he had ever been in his life. His dreams were within reach and he was going to make sure he got there and he was going to do it by Junhui’s side. Even if he had to hide his true feelings forever.

 

On the day before their first big job, their first paying job, Minhao was curled up in his bed. He was wrapped inside the sheet and thin comforter, dressed comfortably in Junhui’s hoodie and sweatpants, and he was warm as he could ever feel. He could see Junhui’s face on the pillow, his mouth parted slightly, his lips shiny and wet. His breath was silent but the slight rise and fall of the thick quilt on the other bed was steady and rhythmic. His white hair was tarnished with dark roots and lay wild across the soft blue pillow. Minghao loved this part of the day, when he could wake up early and stare as much as he wanted, just admiring the other boy’s beautiful face in the cold grey light of dawn.

 

He saw his eyelids begin to flicker and wondered what sort of things Junhui dreamed about. Dancing, singing, dreams of home. Dreams of success and fame and money. Dreams of a beautiful girl in his arms? Minghao sighed at the last thought that flittered through his mind. A dream he couldn’t be a part of. It was fine. He was happy just to have this. It was enough.

 

Junhui tossed a little in his sleep, began to shuffle as his eyelids flickered and then stopped, then silence. He was smiling in his sleep and Minghao fought the urge to reach out and brush the blond strand covering one eye. But he didn’t, he stayed still and watched, and when Junhui’s eyes finally opened they met his own brown eyes with warmth. “Good morning Hao.” Junhui’s lips spread into a smile. “Good morning Jun-gē.” Minghao returned his smile.

 

They both took quick showers and got dressed in turn. The heat had stayed on for the last few weeks but with three boys now using the shower they were on rations. There was barely enough hot water for two decent showers and they had learned to get in and out as quick as they could. They were just enjoying a precious cup of coffee when there was a knock at the door.

 

Seungcheol walked in with a huge smile on his face. “Big day tomorrow! Are you guys excited?” The three of them nodded enthusiastically at the understatement. They were. They had worked hard on the two routines and were confident they knew it inside out. “I’ve got a surprise. The company has sprung for new haircuts.” All three boys squealed in delight. A good salon trip was outside the budget of all three of them and they could really use a change. “The only catch is you don’t get to choose. Mingyu has already given instructions to the stylists. Ok?” They all nodded and smiled, they were on the road to becoming idols, and giving up the freedom to choose their own hairstyle was just a small taste of their future.

 

 

They hurried out the door and along the main road dressed warmly in their thick winter coats. The weather had really taken a turn for the worst in the last few days and it was colder than ever. Minghao drew his hands inside his sleeves and silently thanked Junhui for the hundredth time for the warm quilted coat and beanie that kept the icy wind at bay. And the hoodies and sweatpants he let Minghao wear around the apartment. And the coffee that appeared in the kitchen after his allowance day. And the little chocolate treats that always seemed to appear on his pillow when they’d had a long day. He owed Junhui so much. He owed him his life and more.

 

The three boys disappeared into various rooms of the huge salon. The sweet middle aged woman pinched Minghao’s cheeks until he thought he was going to cry. “So cute.” She said over and over as she spread the thick dye through his hair, rinsed it out, then got to work cutting. Once she began to blowdry it Minghao was more than a little surprised to see that it wasn’t far from his natural colour. It was a rich shiny chocolate brown that made his eyes stand out and cut into a fluffy mop that enhanced his pointed ears. He looked younger and fresher and the stylist couldn’t stop cooing over him. “Good choice, your PR manager really knows his stuff, you look adorable!” She pinched his cheeks again and sent him out into the waiting area where he was met face to face with a newly blonde Soonyoung. “Wow! That’s a huge change!” He couldn’t believe the difference it made to Soonyoung’s visuals. He looked amazing.

 

But when the door opened and the third boy entered Minghao had his breath stolen from his chest. Junhi walked in with his hair freshly cut and coloured and a smirk on his face. Minghao felt tears brimming in his eyes when Junhui walked towards him and ran his fingers through his soft locks. “Do you like it?” he asked and Minghao nodded as he swallowed thickly at the sight of Junhui’s freshly coloured hair. The vision was ethereal, it was like he was reliving his own dream, and just when he thought he couldn’t fall any further his heart tumbled wildly in his chest.

 

 

Violet.


	14. Chapter 14

 

 

Minghao had four weeks until his court date. Four weeks to prove he had changed his life. Four weeks to find out his fate that hung in the balance. Worst case scenario would be detention. That would be the end of everything he’d worked for. The last four weeks of his life had been the best he’d ever had. He was truly happy and living his dream and the boys who shared his apartment and his life had become so close to him it was like having a real family again.

 

The weeks of rehearsals had paid off for the three when they stood out as the three most prepared and talented of the six backup dancers booked for the job. The female idol they were dancing for was courteous and polite and prepared. And always professional to all of the boys working for her. Except for one. The way she looked at Junhui, the way she ‘accidentally’ brushed past him at every opportunity, the flirtatious looks she threw his way. It didn’t escape the ever watching eyes of Minghao. How could it? His eyes were always on Junhui, when he danced, when he walked, when he was eating or sleeping or scrolling through his phone. He was always watching Junhui.

 

Backstage at the concert the three were sitting around enjoying the moment. They had successfully completed their first paying job. “One day it’s going to be our concert!” Soonyoung’s eyes glittered with all the optimism in the world. “We’re going to be famous and every single person in that stadium will be screaming our names!” Minghao and Junhui smiled at the boy and hoped he was right.

 

Snacks and drinks had been put out on a little table. “You want something Hao?” Junhui asked as he got up and Minghao nodded. “Nah. I’m fine but thanks for asking!” Soonyoung called jokingly to Junhui's retreating back as he wandered over to the table. Minghao watched the idol, tall and beautiful, long dark curls framing her face as she spotted Junhui alone and wandered closer to him. Minghao didn’t miss the flush that spread across Junhui’s cheeks as she leaned in close and whispered something to him. Minghao definitely didn’t miss the piece of paper she slipped into Junhui’s hand with a wink and a smile.

 

 

 

“Here Hao,” Junhui handed the boy a can of Coke and a plate with two little cheese sandwiches and a cupcake. He knew the boy’s childish appetites inside out by now after caring for him for four weeks. He was more than a little hurt when he got no response but a snatch of the plate. He held the can out and Minghao took it without a word. Junhui furrowed his brow and sank onto the couch next to the other boy who was silently stuffing the cheese sandwiches into his mouth. He looked from the silently sulking Minghao to the clueless Soonyoung who just shrugged. He didn’t know what had come over the boy. Maybe he was just tired. They all were and nerves could get easily frayed at the end of a long day. But every second that Minghao was mad at him was a second Junhui couldn’t relax. He didn’t know what to do.

 

Seungcheol arrived soon after to collect them and drive them home. He piled them into the company SUV and frowned at the dour mood surrounding them. “What’s wrong with you guys?” he asked and Soonyoung just shrugged. “We’re just tired,” he said as they sped through the city. Junhui had slipped into his regular seat next to Minghao and tried to put his arm around him, pull him close and stroke his hair, just what Minghao usually needed at the end of a long day. But Minghao turned his face away from him and stared out the window and Junhui racked his brain trying to think of something to cheer him up.

 

They arrived home and filed into the apartment silently after a goodbye from Seungcheol. It was cold inside. “Ugh. The heating must be broken again,” Soonyoung moaned as he ran down the corridor. “I’m showering first!” was all the other two heard along with a furiously banged door. Junhui turned towards Minghao who ignored him and went into the kitchen to make tea.

 

“I’m going out for a bit,” Minghao heard Junhui call out to Soonyoung through the bathroom door. He listened to the sound of Junhui putting his coat and shoes back on and then the door closed.

 

As soon as he was gone Minghao abandoned his tea and ran to his bed. He clutched his Boo Boo Panda close as big tears rolled down his cheeks. Junhui had gone out to meet up with her. He just knew it. She was beautiful and sexy and Minghao could never compete with a  gorgeous woman for Junhui’s attention. He couldn’t expect to.

 

He was just a boy, a skinny scruffy boy, with nothing to offer someone like Junhui. He had convinced himself he could push his feelings aside and be happy just being friends but could he really? Junhui was stunning and this woman was just going to be the first of many that were always going to want him. Minghao knew he just had to make the most of what he had with Junhui and be happy with his place in his life.

 

But as he curled around his panda and imagined Junhui putting his hands on that woman tears of jealousy and longing rolled down his cheeks. He wished it was him in his arms, he wished it was him trembling under Junhui’s gentle touch, he wished he was the only one to hear sweet words whispered from Junhui’s lips.

 

 

 

 

Junhui strolled along the cold dark street towards the supermarket. He looked around before he pulled the piece of paper out of his pocked and tore it into confetti. He was so embarrassed. She was a reasonably famous idol and should know better than to be approaching her staff. Especially when they were younger than her. He had smiled and accepted it politely and waited until he was alone to tear it up.

 

Junhui hoped no one had seen her slip it into his hand. He squatted down and rained the confetti pieces into the river running down the gutter of the street and continued on to the supermarket to get Minghao the packet of sour gummi bears he loved more than any other sweet treat. It was the only thing he could think of to cheer him up.

 

He picked two bags of the sweets and a packet of chocolate chip cookies and spent his last few coins on them. He couldn’t wait to get paid for their backup dancer job. Even after enduring the lascivious stares of the idol all over his body it was still worth it.

 

He let himself back into the apartment and was confused by the silence. Soonyoung must have gone straight to bed after his shower but where was Minghao? He saw the various unfinished mugs of tea lying around half made and half drank and went to their room to find Minghao sobbing in his bed.

 

Junhui’ s heart broke. He tossed the gummi bears onto the table and climbed into the bed behind Minghao who was facing the wall as his skinny body shook with each stifled sob. “Hao Hao? What is wrong with you today?” Junhui whispered as he wrapped his arms around the crying boy. It was cold in the bedroom and Minghao was shaking with emotion and cold as he huddled in the bed.

 

Junhui grabbed his shoulders and rolled him over to face him and smoothed his tears away with his thumbs. “Why are you so upset? I thought you were just tired and I went out to get you some gummi bears.” Junhui smiled at Minghao who pouted his bottom lip. “I thought you went to see her. I saw her give you the phone number….”

 

A strange feeling burned in the pit of Junhui’ s stomach. An uneasy combination of guilt, shame and satisfaction boiled within him as he wiped Minghao’s tears away. He felt the connection between them burning like electricity as he wrapped Minghao in his arms and pulled the shivering boy close to his body. “Don’t cry Hao. She could never take me away from you.” His fingers found their way into Minghao’s hair and as he stroked gently he felt him relax. “Nothing’s going to separate us. I promise you.”


	15. Chapter 15

 

 

The next day Minghao woke up warm and secure. He had slept all night in Junhui’s tight hold, his sobs fading to a gentle smile as the other boy had tossed the thick quilt over the both of them, and climbed back in beside him. He had won.

 

He had spent the past four weeks happily admiring Junhui from an emotional distance. He hadn’t allowed himself to truly face his feelings and the possible ramifications. But as he lay in the still quiet light of pre dawn he traced Junhui’s jaw with his finger and smiled when the other boy wrinkled his nose in his sleep. His hand became bolder, moving from stroking his face, to twirling a strand of his beautiful violet hair between his fingers. When the other boy didn’t wake he let the pads of his fingertips run across the smooth skin of Junhi’s neck and wondered what the soft creamy skin would feel like under the heat of his lips.

 

He thought he was content to stand at Junhui’s side, to be happy with his place in his life, as a friend. A close friend. Maybe even a best friend. But the slap of reality that beautiful women would always want Junhui made him realise he would do anything to keep him to himself. He couldn’t just walk by his side and watch Junhui live a life that didn’t have Minghao at the centre. He wanted to be the only one. He wanted to be the one. Because he knew Junhui was the only one for him.

 

His need became more urgent, his self control was wavering, he wanted Junhui so bad. He thought he was content to just be by his side, he thought it was just the boyish expression of a childhood crush, but the longer he stared at Junhui’s perfect features the more he knew he was wrong. It wasn’t just a boyish crush. It was love. He was in love with Junhui.

 

Just one kiss…….

 

Maybe he could steal just one kiss from his sleeping prince.

 

It couldn’t hurt.

 

Minghao moved closer to the other boy squashed close on the tiny bed. Their legs were tangled together and Junhui’s arm was trapped under the pillow they had shared all night. Minghao leaned close and pressed his lips to Junhui’s forehead and kissed him so softly, almost imperceptibly, but it was like fire ripped through Minghao’s whole body. He knew he shouldn’t have done it, far from quenching his craving, the feeling of his lips on Junhui’s skin only fuelled the desire that burned within him.

 

“Hao did you just kiss me?” Junhui mumbled in his thick morning voice. He didn’t open his eyes, Minghao had no idea he was even awake, and panic began to build in his chest. “Ah, yeah I guess I did…..” Minghao mumbled. “I’m sorry..” he said quietly as he turned away to face the wall in shame. He waited for Junhui to get up out of the bed and get away from him as quick as he could but he just felt the bed shift as Junhui moved closer to him again.

 

Junhui wrapped his loose arm around Minghao’s waist and pulled his body tight against his, his long limbs trapping Minghao close, his nose nuzzling into Minghao’s hair. “Don’t be sorry Hao Hao..” Junhui’s heavy thick voice disappeared into Minghao’s hair as he pulled him even closer. “Its too early to be awake. Lets go back to sleep.” Minghao relaxed and let Junhui’s warm embrace sooth his nerves and he began to drift off again.

 

As the day began and they got up to start doing what they had to do Minghao couldn’t get the blush from his cheeks. He couldn’t believe he had been so stupid to kiss Junhui when he thought he was sleeping. What was he thinking? He could have ruined everything. But Junhui seemed unaffected as he moved around in the kitchen, making tea and toast, putting a plate in front of Minghao with a smile.

 

A knock at the door announced the arrival of Seungcheol with an envelope full of cash. “I had to get them to pay the company directly and then get the cash back from Accounts to pay you guys,” he said as he began to count notes out on the table. “All because of you!” He narrowed his gaze at Minghao and quickly turned it into a smile when he saw how scared the boy looked. Seungcheol was used to mucking around with the other two but Minghao was still slightly terrified of their boyish but adorable Manager.

 

“Seriously. You need a bank account Minghao. You don’t even have a legal contract with the company because we need your parent’s permission. Have you thought again about contacting them?” Minghao stared at his hands and shook his head. He couldn’t. He knew they would never agree to sign for him. He had to wait until he was successful and then they wouldn’t be able to refuse him.

 

Seungcheol divided the notes and told them to take a few days to rest. Resting was important, they were still growing boys, and they had worked so hard the last four weeks that they deserved a few days of relaxation and healing. “I’ll be in tomorrow with some groceries,” he said as he checked the cupboards to see what they needed. “I’ve reported the heat again,” he called out and Soonyoung met him in the kitchen.

 

“The hot water too Cheol. There’s barely enough for three quick showers.” Seungcheol nodded. “What are your plans for the next few days?” A mischevious grin played across Soonyoung’s face. “Rest, Dance. I might go and see my family later today. Is that ok?” Seungcheol nodded. “No problems with Minghao?” he whispered and Soonyoung shook his head. “Besides the fact that him and Junhui are stuck to each other like glue? You’ll never be able to split them up Cheol. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like they’ve know each other all their lives.”

 

Seungcheol sighed heavily as he left the apartment. He walked slowly back to the company to meet with Mingyu and the company lawyer. They had to get some things in place before Minghao’s court appearance and then later that day Seuncheol and Mingu were scouting again for more members.

 

Soonyoung was right. He needed everything to work out. Not only would Junhui be crushed if Minghao had to leave but, he had neglected to tell the three boys, Minghao received the best feedback from the job by far. Junhui had been right. The boy’s charisma was infectious, addictive almost, he had singlehandedly charmed everyone he had come in contact with during the job. His skills and his talent and his charisma were desperately needed.

 

Seungcheol shoved his hands deep into his pocket as the day weighed heavily on his shoulders. He walked in and headed straight for Mingyu’s office. He desperately hoped they would find another member today. They were running out of time.

 

 

 “Hey. I’m going to my sister’s house for the day. And I’m staying for dinner.” Soonyoung called out to Junhui and Minghao who were still delighting over the meagre paycheck they had earned. “Will you guys be okay today by yourselves?” Junhui nodded. “Yeah. Want to go out shopping Hao? And then maybe out for dinner?” Minghao nodded enthusiastically. He had his cash clutched tighly in his his hand and he wanted to enjoy it.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

 

 

A day just for them. This was the opportunity Minghao had been hoping for. He was afraid of the risks but he was overwhelmed by his feelings. He wanted Junhui to want him and he was determined to make it happen.

 

They dressed and left the apartment at lunchtime, Junhui looking fresh in a brand new pair of blue jeans and a black hoodie sent over by his parents. Minghao was dressed in his own ripped black jeans and one of Junhui’ s hoodies, grey and white, and they pulled their heavy coats on before they left. They wandered slowly and aimlessly past the company building and around the corner and walked until they were in the shopping district that they enjoyed. It was a vibrant area, with youth oriented shops and trendy cafes, and there were young people everywhere. With his beautiful violet hair Junhui turned heads and drew attention and he pulled a black beanie out of his pocket but Minghao grabbed it off him. “Don’t,” he said as he stole the beanie. “Let people notice you. You’re beautiful.” Junhui felt a blush creep across his cheeks at Minghao’s words but he took the beanie back and put the beanie away.

 

Junhui couldn’t stop his mind running wild as they walked. He couldn’t get the feeling of Minghao’s kiss off his skin or the butterflies out of his chest. He felt so bad, so guilty, so racked with the shame of what he held in his heart. They turned heads as they walked and a few giggling girls even stole a photo of them and ran away. But every fibre of Junhui’s being was focused on one thing and one thing only. Controlling his emotions.

 

The street got more and more crowded as it turned into an open air mall. People milled around and Junhui was forced closer to Minghao as they walked. As their arms were forced closer their hands brushed, a simple and brief meeting of skin on skin, but Junhui felt his face grow hot and immediately shoved his hands into his pockets. How badly he wanted to just be able to grab Minghao’s hand and squeeze it tight as they wandered along the street. But he wouldn’t allow himself to fall in any deeper than he already was. They began to jostle around in the crowd and were almost separated until Minghao grabbed Junhui by the arm and gripped it tight pulling their bodies closer. “Don’t lose me,” Minghao said as he held tight to Junhui’s arm. “I won’t.” Junhui replied with a heavy heart.

 

I won’t lose you.

 

Minghao pulled him into a tiny café and dragged him to the counter. “Two coffee frappes please. And two vanilla cupcakes,” Minghao said brightly as he pointed out the ones he wanted in the cabinet decorated with purple frosting and sprinkles. Junhui pulled out his wallet but Minghao frowned. “No way. My treat,” he said and pulled his body closer to Junhui’s as they waited. “I know it’s not much. I could never find a way to truly repay you for all you’ve done for me.” His voice sounded incredibly small but his eyes were huge as they stared straight into Junhui’s soul and he had to look away. Junhui felt terrified of discovery, the way Minghao looked at him made him feel like he could read his thoughts, and as he looked away he felt his face heat up again. Junhui just stared at the ground as Minghao led the way to a little table in the corner away from the door.

 

The mood lightened as Junhui relaxed again. “Frappes in the winter?” he laughed at Minghao’s choice. “Why not? It’s warm in here!” Minghao’s smile made Junhui feel warm and he shrugged off the winter coat on his shoulders. Minghao did the same and they enjoyed their frappes and cupcakes in the warm and cosy café. As they were leaving Minghao picked out four more and the barista packed them neatly into a little cupcake box for him to take home. “You going to spend all your first pay check on cupcakes?” Junhui asked and Minghao laughed loudly as they walked out onto the street. “Maybe!” he said as he giggled joyfully, his eyes shining in the grey light of winter, and in that moment Junhui had never seen anything more beautiful.

 

“I have everything I need,” Minghao said as they strolled slowly along the crowded street. “I have a home and I have a chance to achieve my dream. I have a warm bed to sleep in at night” His soft expression when he looked at Junhui was addictive. It seemed to draw Junhui in and he found himself absentmindedly nodding his distracted agreement.. “And I have you.” Minghao slipped his hand inside Junhui’s before he had a chance to hide it in his pocket and held onto it tight. Junhui’s mind was in turmoil but it felt so right to him, to wander aimlessly along the busy street, his hand entwined with the soft warm fingers of the beautiful boy by his side.

 

He didn’t know if there would come a time when he would regret it. He didn’t know if it would be his making or his undoing, if it was going to be the eventual destruction of his dreams, if it was going to ruin everything he had worked so hard for. In that moment nothing else mattered but the way Minghao looked at him. The way his hand felt warm inside his, the way his eyes sparkled as he saw things that caught his eye, the way his hair blew back from his face in the bitterly cold wind.

 

All he knew was he couldn’t let him go. He pushed all the thoughts of what might happen out of his mind. What would happen if Minghao was locked up or sent home to China? What would happen if they were torn apart? Junhui just gripped tighter to the boy next to him as he whirled them around in the other direction.

 

“Come on Hao. It’s cold.” Junhui smiled at him and melted when Minghao smiled back at him. “Let’s go home,” he said as he took Minghao by the arm and pulled him closer and the two boys wandered back to the tiny cold apartment.


	17. Chapter 17

 

 

 

Junhui felt it again. It was pulling them closer, drawing them together, the invisible but unmistakeable thread binding them as one. They entered the cold apartment, it was almost colder inside than out in the weather. “Wish the heating was fixed.” Junhui’ s teeth chattered as they shed their coats and shoes. He went to the couch and put the tv on and pulled a big blanket over himself while Minghao crashed around in the kitchen. Junhui laughed to himself as he listened to him opening cupboards, knocking into things, items crashing in and out of drawers. The boy was so noisy, it was like living with a toddler, but soon Junhui had a big mug of hot tea placed in front of him.

 

As the tv blared and Minghao laughed loudly under his own blanket Junhui couldn’t stop staring. He was so smitten. Minghao shivered and moved closer to Junhui, his fluffy mop of hair finding its way onto his chest as the other boy entwined their fingers again. Suddenly overwhelmed, Junhui got up from the couch, he had to walk away. He didn’t know what would be worse, to try and push his feelings aside while getting closer to Minghao, or to try to put some distance between them.

 

He was falling too fast too quickly and it was terrifying. He went to the kitchen and leaned heavily on the counter, slowing his breathing, trying to push the overwhelming feeling of panic aside. He couldn’t do this. It would be a death sentence on his dreams. How could he fall in love with his fellow group member? And the guilt that filled him was terrifying. Minghao trusted him. He looked up to him and relied on him. How could Junhui take advantage of that? The poor boy had been through so much already, the last thing he needed was Junhui creeping on him, Junhui couldn’t bear it. He would be no better than Yanan’s guys taking advantage of Minghao’s vulnerabilities.

 

He ran the tap in the sink and splashed the icy cold water on his face. He decided the only thing he could do was try to put some distance between them. He had allowed this to happen, it was no one’s fault but his, and he had to fix it. He needed to make some distance, emotionally and physically, and it had to start now.

 

“What do you want for dinner?” he asked casually as he grabbed his blanket from the couch and moved over to the armchair. Minghao watched him move, slightly confused as to why he had switched seats, but just smiled his beautiful smile at Junhui’s question. “You choose. You want to order in some food or go shopping?” With Soonyoung out for dinner with his family it would be just the two of them and Junhui decided they should go down the street to get burgers. “You want to go out for burgers?” he said quietly and Minghao nodded enthusiastically.

 

 

Two hours later Minghao was confused. He had a sick feeling in his stomach, something had changed, something was wrong and he didn’t know what it was. He was sure he had somehow offended Junhui or upset him. The other boy could barely look at him. He had been so happy that morning as he enjoyed their day out. It was exactly how he imagined a real date with Junhui. Minghao was delighted to have money to treat Junhui to cupcakes at the coffee shop, he had held on tightly to the rest of his money, not knowing when or where his next pay check would come from. But Junhui’s smile in the coffee shop as they shared their treats and laughed was worth it. They had wandered home in the cold and everything was fine.

 

Junhui had avoided all contact with Minghao at dinner. He even sat across from him while they ate instead of squishing his body in close next to Minghao like he usually would. Minghao’s mood dropped further and further as the night went on. He cursed himself for being so clingy and over emotional, for being so jealous and immature the other night, for showing his feelings too readily. He’d scared Junhui away. He could feel it.

 

But every fibre of Minghao’s being screamed out for the other boy. His skin needed the tactile comfort of his touch. His eyes needed Junhui’s warming and healing smile, to glance over his beautiful features, even be the recipient of a good natured but sarcastic eye roll. His ears were desperate for the sound of Junhui’s laughter ringing though them. But all he got at dinner was polite conversation accompanied by vacant eyes devoid of the warmth he needed.

 

As they walked along the busy city street to get home Minghao reached out for Junhui’ s hand to find it hidden inside his jacket pocket. He tugged a little at Junhui’s arm but only got an empty response. Discouraged, he jammed his own hands into the pockets of his coat, and his head dropped as he fell in step behind Junhui as they walked home.

 

The two boys entered their little apartment and Junhui immediately curled up on the armchair with his phone. Minghao watched him silently as the stinging creep of loneliness began to make its way back into his fragile heart. “Jun-gē.....” he called from the doorway. “Are you mad at me?” His voice was small and timid at the thought of hearing the great transgression he had made to force Junhui’ s heart to close. But Junhui didn’t even look up at him. “No Minghao. I’m not mad. Nothing’s wrong now just go have your shower ok?” Junhui’s voice said the words but Minghao could feel the lie hidden barely concealed within them.

 

Tears filled his eyes as he turned towards the bedroom. Everything that he had taken over the last four weeks snowballed inside his mind. Everything Junhui had done for him. All the care, all the concern, all the little chocolate treats hidden under his pillow. The warm comforting hugs that had begun to heal his heart. The constant nurture that had allowed his body to recover. He had taken too much with nothing to give back and he slumped on the floor by his bed with his head in his hands. He had been so stupid to think that a few cupcakes could make up for all he had taken so selfishly.

 

Minghao rubbed his face and sat up as he worried over his situation. He couldn’t go on alone, he wasn’t strong enough yet, and without Junhui he was nothing. He was weak willed and fragile, just a boy with dreams bigger than his ability, and he got up in resignation. He grabbed his backpack and shoved his clothing in roughly. He added his cracked phone and put his wallet in his pocket. Lucky he had saved most of his pay check. He was going to need it.

 

He picked up his precious Boo Boo panda and stroked its soft clean fur. It was time to throw away childish dreams, to leave them in the past, to accept the reality of the present. He took the panda and hid it under the covers of Junhui’s bed and wiped his face with his sleeves.

 

As he opened the bedroom door he heard the water running. Junhui was in the shower. It was the perfect timing. He stopped by the door and picked up his winter coat but changed his mind and put it back down. Minghao opened the door to the tiny apartment and didn’t let himself look back as he closed it behind him and walked away.


	18. Chapter 18

 

Junhui let the hot water run over his back and wished it would wash away his guilt. But to no avail, he didn’t know what was worse, the guilt of his desire for Minghao or the guilt of trying to keep his distance. He knew he’d made Minghao sad and he hated it. He hated himself. As hard as he tried he couldn’t get Minghao out of his mind. His smile that lit his whole face up, his huge brown eyes that stared straight into Junhui’s heart, his childlike joy and exuberance. And the crestfallen look on his face when he asked Junhui if he was mad at him.

 

It would have been easier if he could just talk honestly to him about his feelings and how scared he was of messing everything up. But how could he? How could he sit down with Minghao and confess that, although they had only known each other for four weeks, that it felt like a lifetime? That when he looked into Minghao’s eyes he felt like he had found his other half, his soulmate, his forever? It sounded so ridiculous he couldn’t even believe his own feelings.

 

He washed his hair and brushed his teeth and quickly got out before he used all the hot water. He decided he might talk to Soonyoung about it. He was smart and level headed and he would know what to do. And Junhui was pretty sure Soonyoung would keep his secret and not snitch to Seungcheol. He trusted him.

 

But when he stepped out of the bathroom and into their room he noticed straight away. Something was wrong. It was too quiet. Junhui called out to Minghao but there was no reply from the living room. He looked in the closet and swore when he saw Minghao’s backpack was gone. Panicking, he looked around the room, grabbing his phone so he could attempt to call him. Minghao’s busted phone was less than reliable, cracked and barely working with a battery that died constantly, but he tried anyway. He sat on his bed as he pulled socks onto his feet, the phone ringing on speaker, his hand brushing over a lump near his pillow. When he pulled the little panda out from under the covers he burst into tears.

 

Minghao was gone.

 

Junhui stopped trying to call him and debated calling Soonyoung. He didn’t want to worry him just yet though and he was ashamed of having lost Minghao. Seungcheol had trusted him with caring for the boy and Soonyoung had trusted them enough to leave them alone and Junhui had messed it up in just a few hours. He dressed and ran to the door and pulled on his shoes and coat. Minghao’s was still there, hanging on the hook like a surrender flag, a sign of the boy’s complete abandonment. He obviously was so mad at Junhui that he couldn’t even stand to wear the coat he had given him.

 

Junhui didn’t know where to start as he ran out onto the cold dark street. He looked one way, towards the train station, and then the other towards the park. He wondered what would be the right choice. Minghao was out alone in the cold, sad and aimless, and either decision he made would be the wrong one.

 

Junhui couldn’t have him leave the country. They needed him, all of them, most of all Junhui. He needed Minghao in his life.

 

He also couldn’t have him go back to the park. Back to the drugs, the fights, even worse…. The thought of any of Yanan’s guys coming near him again made Junhui shiver with repulsion.

 

He looked one way, then the other, before finally taking off in the direction of the park.

 

 

 

 

 

Minghao sat on the bench. He rolled the pill around in his fingers. The money in his pocket had been too good to resist, the supply too easy to find, and he needed the warmth and comfort the little pill would provide. He needed its false sense of happiness and love and joy. His real happiness had faded with Junhui’s cold expression.

 

He stared up at the stars and wondered when he became so sensitive. He used to be tough, mentally and physically strong, but now he was weak. He didn’t know if it was all the chemicals he had pumped into his body, if they had altered his brain forever, if he would ever recover his inner strength. Or maybe it was the constant exhaustion he had dealt with since he had left home. Whatever it was he shouldn’t have let the last four weeks fill him with such a false sense of security.

 

He shivered uncontrollably in the icy cold wind as it blew through his thin flannel. He toyed again with the pill, heard a noise behind him, and quickly looked around. He still owed Yanan’s guys for the stuff he was caught with and the remainder that he flushed. If they found him he would hand over what was left in his wallet. He would have to. He wouldn’t let any of them put their hands or their mouths on his body again. If it couldn’t be Junhui he didn’t want anyone to touch him. He couldn’t let anyone else have any of him.

 

He looked around nervously but when he saw no one he opened the palm of his hand and decided to do it. The pain was too much. He lifted the pill to his lips and was just about to swallow it when a bright flash of violet caught his peripheral vision. He turned slowly towards Junhui running across the grass calling his name under the light of a hundred streetlights. He got up to run away but Junhui was on him, catching his arm, holding him tight. “Stop..” he was breathless from running as he gripped Minghao’s arm and turned his hand over. “What are you doing?”

 

Minghao started to cry as he opened his hand and revealed his shame. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have relied on you so much….” His nose was already red from the cold and it dripped damp with his fast flowing tears. “I’m sorry for being selfish Jun… I won’t take any more of your kindness….”

 

Junhui stared at him in shock before taking the pill from him and throwing it to the ground. “I’m the one who’s sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He pulled Minghao against his body and squinted his eyes shut when he felt the boy shivering. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Minghao… I’m just scared…” Skinny arms wrapped around his waist as Minghao cried into his shoulder. “Me too…” Minghao whispered through his sobs. “I’m scared of being a burden. I’m scared you think I’m taking advantage of you. You’ve done so much for me. You’ve given me so much and I have nothing to give back but a few shitty cupcakes.”

 

Junhui pulled back from the hug and put his hands on either side of Minghao’s face. He used his thumbs to wipe Minghao’s tears but he let his own stream hot and free down his cheeks. “You’re not a burden. Don’t ever say that. I need you Minghao. I need you in this group and I need you in my life.” It felt so good  to say it aloud that the words began tumbling from Junhui’s lips unassuaged. “I’m scared that the more of you I have the more I want. I don’t know what’s going to happen to us Minghao but I know we have to be together. Always. We just have to…”

 

It felt so natural and so right to lean over and plant a soft kiss on his forehead, the same way Minghao had kissed him in bed, and it felt so good to just let it out. “And the cupcakes weren’t shitty,” Junhui smiled and Minghao giggled through his tears. “They were delicious.” When Minghao wrapped his arms around Junhui and buried his face in his neck everything just fell into place.

 

“Come on Minghao.” Junhui took his coat off and wrapped it around the shivering boy before winding their fingers together and squeezing tight. “Let’s go home. It’s cold out here.”


	19. Chapter 19

 

 

By the time they made it home both boys were damp and shivering. They hadn’t spoken much during the walk. Both walked in silence, burdened by their shame, both hoping to find forgiveness and salvation in the other.

 

Minghao wanted to cry over how weak he felt and how easily he had gone back to search for the chemical happiness. He needed to be stronger. He looked at Junhui and silently wished for the strength the other boy exuded in his character.

 

Junhui was angry at himself. He let his fear push him into hurting Minghao and he never wanted to do that again. All thoughts of his dreams, his goals and his wishes for the future, they all faded in the face of losing Minghao. What good would it be to stand on stage in front of a stadium of screaming fans if Minghao wasn’t there with him?

 

The apartment was cold and Minghao needed a hot shower. Junhui automatically went to his closet and handed him a warm hoodie and some sweat pants. Minghao looked away and didn’t want to take them but Junhui insisted. “Is this the kind of stuff you’re talking about? Minghao it’s just clothes. I have like twenty hoodies and if I want more my parents will just sent them. I don’t care about the clothes. I care about you being warm and comfy.” He sighed heavily as he pushed the clothes into Minghao’s arms. “You can repay me by giving me that smile that I need…” His honest admission shocked him and he blushed but Minghao just smiled. He could give those away to Junhui any time.

 

Minghao took the clothes and sat on the bed to strip off his damp flannel shirt. Faced with the potential loss of Junhui from his life he had never been more scared. But now he had the old Junhui back, the warm and gentle boy who’s love and concern was so evident when Minghao’s eyes met his. Minghao decided then and there that he wanted him. He wanted him and he needed him and he was going to do anything he could to make Junhui his.

 

 

 

Junhui was obliviously checking his phone. “Soonyoung’s not coming home tonight,” he said absentmindedly as he sat on his bed. “You shower first,” Minghao said and Junhui shook his head but Minghao insisted. “Please. You go and then I’ll go.” His eyes had that look in them, the one Junhui couldn’t refuse, and he stripped off his wet hoodie and grabbed his towel and headed for the bathroom.

 

He ran the water and as soon as it was hot enough he shed the remainder of his damp clothes and got in under the stream. He grabbed the soap and began washing his body quickly, he didn’t want Minghao to have a cold shower, and was startled when he heard the click of the bathroom door.

 

He could see Minghao standing outside the glass of the shower cubicle. “What’s the matter Hao?” he called out casually as he stood still under the water. He could see Minghao shedding his clothing through the opaque screen and he knew what was coming but was powerless to stop it. He didn’t know if he couldn’t or simply didn’t want to but when Minghao opened the glass door Junhui let him in.

 

“I figured if I got in with you we could have twice as long...” Minghao said shyly as he crammed his naked body into the small space next to Junhui. There was barely enough room and it was awkward and Junhui knew he had to make a decision. He knew the right one, to rinse his skin clean and move quickly past Minghao, to avert his eyes and get out and dried and dressed. But it was too late. Minghao had already turned his body and was now standing in front of Junhui under the running water.

 

Minghao leaned over and reached for the soap and began to run it all over his body. He soaped his skin clean and Junhui held his breath and tried to look anywhere but at the naked boy dangerously close to him. He turned around to face Junhui and closed his eyes as the water ran over his head and down his face and while his eyes were shut Junhui allowed himself to look.

 

He wished he hadn’t. Minghao was beautiful. His bruises had healed leaving his skin pale and flawless. His physique was just starting to bounce back and there was a thin layer of muscularity building over his skinny frame. He was still painfully thin but so beautiful to Junhui that the older boy wanted to cry.

 

He didn’t know how long he could stay in this position, their stomachs almost pressed together, without reaching out and touching him. He scrunched his eyes closed and willed himself not to get hard. But it was inevitable with the slippery wet boy within his grasp.

 

“Turn around Hao Hao,” he said quietly. “I’ll wash your hair for you.”

 

Junhui squeezed a little shampoo into his palmand began to massage it gently into Minghao’s scalp. His long fingers relished the sensation of any part of Minghao’s body and it felt so right to touch him. But his mistake was realised quickly when Minghao gently groaned at the feeling of strong fingers massaging into his scalp. “Aahhhhh.... mmmm ... Jun it feels so nice....” Minghao hummed his delight softly and arched his back a little and Junhui felt all the blood in his body rush south.

 

Minghao turned again and let the water rinse the shampoo from his hair and Junhui let his eyes run all over the boy’s body. His hands wanted to travel everywhere his eyes did. His shoulders, his stomach, his hips. Junhui wanted so badly to just feel even a little of Minghao’s warmth through his fingertips.

 

Would it be so bad? Just to reach out?

 

Was it really so wrong?

 

 

 

Yes. It was.

 

He suddenly felt hit with reality again, he couldn’t take advantage of Minghao, he couldn’t let the boy know the true extent of his feelings. Junhui leaned back on the cold glass and closed his eyes, catching his breath for just a minute, ready to open them and get out of the shower and walk away.

 

 

But when Minghao wrapped his arms around Junhui’s neck, pressing their bodies together under the rush of water, he was powerless to stop him. He stared at Minghao’s lips, so close to his own, and gave in to the intoxicating sensuality of their naked bodies. He held his breath as Minghao pressed even closer and leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “I know you want me Jun-gē. You’re hard,” he said softly with just a hint of a smirk. He stared right into Junhui’s eyes making the other look away.

 

“We can’t do this Minghao. We just can’t.” Junhui’s words felt futile. They felt weak and half hearted and he knew his defence had completely crumbled. “Minghao what it someone finds out....” His words were crushed by the feeling of Minghao’s hands on his waist pulling him closer. “I don’t see anyone else here though...” Minghao murmured as he moved closer. When their lips met and began to move together everything else disappeared. The outside world meant nothing as Minghao pushed Junhui against the cold glass and kissed him like his life depended on it.


	20. Chapter 20

 

 

In that moment nothing mattered outside the glass walls of the shower enclosure where rapidly cooling water beat down on their bodies. Junhui was done trying to fight what he knew would happen inevitably. He gave in and let Minghao press their bodies close and relaxed into the feeling of their tongues dancing delicately against each other.

 

Nothing had ever felt more right. Their wet bodies sliding against each other, the burn of their touching skin, the pounding of their hearts in the silence. Junhui felt Minghao’s hands roaming his chest and his own went to Minghao’s waist where they settled as their heated kiss continued.

 

They only broke it when the water got cold. Junhui leaned around Minghao’s body to turn off the taps and the younger grabbed his hand and pulled him out the bathroom and down the hallway to their room. “What about our towels?” Junhui asked breathlessly and Minghao just smirked as he pushed Junhui onto his bed. “We’ll dry...” he murmured as he climbed onto Junhui’s body. He let his hot breath ghost over one hard dark nipple as he thumbed the other roughly. Junhui couldn’t help it, a low moan escaped his lips, and his whole body stiffened as Minghao let his lips roll gently around Junhui’s nipple.

 

“You like that?” Minghao asked with a smirk as he pinched the other between his fingers and Junhui just nodded. He did like it. The throbbing state of his cock was the proof and he squirmed under Minghao’s insistent touch. Minghao attacked his lips again, harder and more insistent than before, taking Junhui’s bottom lip between his teeth and nibbling gently. He moved his teeth to Junhui’s ear and nibbled at that too and smiled at the moaning mess the older boy was becoming underneath him.

 

“Jun...” Minghao whispered against the sensitive shell of Junhui’s ear. “Has anyone ever touched you before?” He sighed as Jun shook his head. His eyes stared up at Minghao hovering over him and the innocence in them was beautiful. “Close your eyes,” Minghao said softly as he stroked a strand of wet hair from Junhui’s forehead.

 

Junhui swallowed thickly and nodded slightly as he closed his eyes. He gave himself over to the feeling of Minghao’s sinful mouth trailing slowly down his body, leaving hot kisses in its wake, the feeling of his tongue like nothing else. His eyes stayed closed as Minghao kissed down his stomach and lingered around his bellybutton. But when Minghao took the whole length of his cock in his mouth Junhui’s eyes flew open in surprise.

 

Minghao gripped the base with his hand as his tongue and his lips worked hard against Junhui’s erection. Junhui squirmed and moaned as Minghao hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard. He writhed on the bed in a world of pleasure and began to pant desperately for oxygen. He never knew something could feel so good. Surely something that felt so right couldn’t be wrong.

 

 

Minghao enjoyed the taste of precum oozing from the tip and he knew he had him. He was going to make Junhui cum so hard he would never look at anyone else ever again. He let his suction slip for a moment to take a deep breath. He breathed in slowly and out gently letting his breath wash over Junhui’s cock damp with saliva and his own leaking moisture. He gripped it tight in his hand and went to lower his mouth again but Junhui squirmed away.

 

“Wait, Minghao, I want to touch you too...” He whispered quietly, almost shyly, as his hands reached out. Minghao obliged, sliding his naked body back up the bed until he was lying next to the violet haired boy he loved. His lips moved softly against Junhui’s neck as he guided Junhui’s hand onto his own pulsing hot erection. Junhui was tentative but it didn’t matter. Minghao was close as soon as he was touched.

 

He began to stroke Junhui’s cock slowly at first increasing his speed at Junhui’s urgency. He thrust his own erection hard against the older boys gentle hand and moaned Junhui’s name as he felt himself on the edge. “Jun... “ he breathed hot in Junhui’s ear as he jerked him harder and felt himself lose it. He groaned and thrust and jerked Junhui faster as he came harder than he ever had before. His cum filled Junhui’s hand and dropped from his fingers as Minghao moaned his pleasure loudly in the cold quiet room.

 

As his own breath slowed he slipped back down and took Junhui in his mouth again. A flick of his tongue and a few hard sucks was all it took for Junhui to cum in his mouth. The older struggled as his body shook and shuddered through his orgasm and Minghao willingly swallowed all he had to give.

 

Junhui felt like he was floating on a cloud. He’d never done anything like that before with anyone. And the exhilaration of Minghao’s naked skin on his, the pure hedonistic pleasure of Minghao’s seductive mouth, the gentle touch of hands on his body. It all combined into a world of pleasure Junhui wanted to fall into and never escape.

 

He opened his arms and Minghao curled up in them as he pulled the thick quilt over them both. Fluffy hair tickled his nose as their naked limbs tangled together under the warm quilt and Junhui sighed heavily as he held Minghao tight.

 

 

_Damn it Minghao._

_You’ve got me so addicted to you..._

 

 

He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep not bothering with clothes. He shifted and regained his alertness when Minghao slipped out of his arms but the boy was just locking the bedroom door.

 

His warm skin pressed against the length of Junhui’s naked body and he felt himself get hard again. He couldn’t help himself. The more of Junhui he had the more he wanted and his hands wandered in search of another reason to stay awake a little longer. And he found it as Junhui responded to his touch and sleep was a long time coming for both boys that night.


	21. Chapter 21

 

Soonyoung opened the door to the apartment and walked in. It was still early but he thought the other two boys might already be up. He had gotten up early and taken the first bus home after staying overnight with his sister. He had second thoughts at first but he knew Junhui would be able to handle it. He was wonderful with Minghao and they had become so close so quickly it almost made Soonyoung feel a little left out. But he was clever enough to recognise how silly that was and they were nice enough to always stick to Korean in front of him so their conversations never really left him out.

 

He made his way softly and quietly into the kitchen and filled the kettle to boil. He got out three mugs and scraped the last of the coffee evenly between them. He really thought the other two would have gone grocery shopping yesterday and filled the kitchen with Junhui’ s usual generous contributions of coffee and fruit, yoghurt and cheese, but when he opened the fridge all he saw was a cake box. He opened it and found three beautiful cupcakes inside and put it back. He chuckled at the bright purple icing and rainbow sprinkles and guessed Minghao had bought them out of his money.

 

Once the kettle was boiled he filled the three cups and added the milk. His phone buzzed with a text from Seungcheol saying he would be there in five minutes and Soonyoung got out a fourth mug and added a tea bag. It was too late now. Tea would have to do for the Manager.

 

He went to the bedroom door and tried to open it so he could wake the other two boys up. He grabbed the handle and went to turn it but it wouldn’t open. Soonyoung jiggled it a bit but it was definitely locked. He knocked loudly at the door and after a few minutes a very ruffled looking Junhui opened the door. “Why was the door locked?” Soonyoung asked and Junhui just shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it got locked by accident…”

 

“Anyway you guys have to get up. I’ve made coffee and Seungcheol is on his way here. Says he’s got something to show us. So wake Minghao up and get out here.” Soonyoung grinned and his eyes disappeared into his cheeks and Junhui smiled back but he closed the door when Soonyoung walked back into the kitchen.

 

“Hao Hao…” Junhui whispered softly as he lay back down on the tiny single bed that had held their warm bodies all night. “Wake up.” He slipped his hand in under the blanket and ran it over Minghao’s bare skin hidden safely under the warmth of the quilt. “Hao....” he whispered and hands wrapped around him suddenly as he squealed a little from the shock. Minghao’s bright eyes smiled up at him from the bed as he pulled Junhui on top of him. “I was awake...” he chuckled before dissolving into giggles as Junhui’s lips wandered down the milky skin of his neck. “We have to get up...” Junhui lamented as he brushed a stray lock of hair from Minghao’s forehead. “I know,” the younger said as he blinked cutely up at him from the pillow.

 

 

Finally Junhui showed up in the living area with a fuzzy and bedraggled looking Minghao behind him. Soonyoung looked fresh as a spring daisy compared to the two other boys having trouble waking up and facing the morning. “What exactly did you guys get up to last night?” Soonyoung asked half-jokingly and Junhui replied quickly and curtly. “ We just went out for burgers. That’s all!” He took two mugs of coffee and sat next to Minghao on the couch handing one over to the other boy still rubbing his eyes.

 

Soonyoung opened the door when there was a knock and let Seungcheol into their apartment. He was trailed by a boy, short and young, with dark hair and sharp eyes. “Guys. This is Chan. Number 4!” he said with a grin as he pushed the boy forward into the middle of the room. They all watched and expected him to shy away but instead he just smiled confidently and shook everyone’s hand. “I’m Chan. I’m fifteen and Seungcheol scouted me at school.”

 

His cheeky smile was broad and bold and Soonyoung was the one to jump up and pull him into a hug. “I’m so excited!” he said as he squeezed the younger boy tight. “Four is enough right?” He turned to Seungcheol with an excited grin. He was desperate to start walking with purpose towards their debut and Seungcheol pressed his shoulder comfortingly. “It might be Soonyoung. Let’s see how you guys work together for a while.”

 

“Chan isn’t going to live here with you guys yet. He’ll stay home with his parents for a while. He’ll come to the company after school and train with you every day.” The others were relived. Fifteen was too young for the boy to be living away from his parents and with the added commitment of school still hanging over him the boy would be under enough pressure.

 

Seungcheol took the mug of tea and frowned. “No coffee again?” he asked and Junhui got up from the couch. “Hao and I were going to go shopping yesterday but we ran out of time.” He took his empty mug to the kitchen and thought over the events of the day before. The whole day was just an exhausting rollercoaster of confusing emotions and Junhui felt like he didn’t know how to get off. He was too far in now and as he looked around the corner at Minghao still sipping his coffee he didn’t even care.

 

No matter what the cost, his career, his dreams, his family and friends. He would put it all on the line for another night like last night. The warm burn of love filled his chest as he stared at Minghao from the kitchen and when the other boy looked up and caught him he didn’t even blush. He just tossed the other boy a quick wink and got a smile in return and he turned back to the sink and happily washed up his coffee mug.


	22. Chapter 22

 

The rythym of trainee life was newly settled. With the arrival and introduction of Chan everything seemed to fall into place. Their choreography was working, their voices were being trained, and Chan was a talented singer dancer and rapper. Soonyoung could also rap and it was something Minghao was trying his hand at when they had spare time to muck around. Junhui had recently scored an individual schedule as a model for an up and coming skincare brand and so their reputation and their resumes were building slowly but nicely.

 

And every evening three boys would wander the streets home from the practice studio at the company. They would walk through the bitterly cold wind in their thick winter coats until they reached the respite of their warm apartment building. They would shake off their damp winter coats, kick off their shoes, find warmth in hot meals and hot coffee and gentle company.

 

And every night Minhao and Junhui would indulge in the shared warmth of bare skin and heated breath. They would bury themselves under the thick quilt and kiss and touch and explore. They would sleep all night tucked close to each other’s bodies and wake in the morning bathed in the luminescence of dawn and joy. Everything was perfect.

 

 

Minghao was wandering aimlessly in their apartment as Junhui got ready. He was attending his first individual schedule, a modelling job, and he was so excited. There were six models booked for print and two would be picked to be featured in a TV ad and Junhui hoped it would be him. He had been taking extra care of his skin and sleeping well and eating well. And drinking litres of water causing Minghao to die in fits of laughter everytime he had to get up to go to the toilet. But the advantage for Minghao was the midnight trips to the bathroom usually brought back little treats from the kitchen. Junhui was determined to get Minghao to put on some weight.

 

“What’s the matter Hao?” Junhui watched the boy pacing around agitatedly. “Trying not to think about next week,” he replied to Junhui’s fallen expression. They were all trying their hardest to pretend that Minghao’s court date wasn’t looming over them like an ominous dark cloud. No one knew what was going to happen and he had to meet with the company lawyer tomorrow. He was terrified and so was Junhui. They could’t be split up. What if Minghao was locked up?

 

“Come with me today.” Junhui suddenly said and the expression on Minghao’s face changed instantly. Nothing made him happier than being with Junhui no matter what they were doing. “Really?” he asked and Junhui nodded. “We’ll just tell them you’re my assistant, like I’m some big fucking star or something, you can help me change and carry my stuff!” They both broke out into laughter at the thought of Junhui, this unknown kid from this tiny company, turning up to a commercial shoot with an assistant.

 

Minghao rushed to their room to get dressed. He rummaged through the closet and chose a neat pale pink button up shirt and blue skinny jeans from Junhui’s stuff. He quietly cursed his dirty Converse but unfortunately he had bigger feet than Junhui and shoes were the only thing they couldn’t share. He fixed his hair in a rush and ran back out to the living area and Junhui grinned at him. “Perfect.” He said softly. They looked cutely matching in their neat blue denims, Minghao’s pink shirt complimenting the pale blue that Junhui wore.

 

They headed for the door just in time to hear a knock. Seungcheol was there to drive Junhui and he stared when he saw the pair of them. “Are you guys a two-for-one special now?” he asked and just shook his head when they both grinned. “Come on then,” he said and they followed him down to the car. Minghao took Junhui’s backpack and slung it over his shoulder. “I’m your assistant, remember?” he chuckled to himself and opened the car door for the taller boy. “I could get used to this.” Junhii grinned and Seungcheol just rolled his eyes. “Just hurry up.” He said. He didn’t want them to be late.

 

The outdoor set was beautiful, all greenery and trees and flowers, early morning sun and gentle breeze. Seungcheol dropped them off and Junhui reported to the director with Minghao trailing behind. They wandered over to the staging area and sat down to wait for hair and makeup. Junhui sat in a waiting chair, Minghao stood beside him, pretending to take his job very seriously to the delight of Junhui who asked him to fetch everything from a tissue to a bottle of water. The makeup artist and hair stylist descended on Junhui and Minghao stepped out to give them space. He sat over to the side on the edge of a garden bed just watching Junhui be fussed over. He was so stunningly beautiful he was born for this life. He just looked perfect in the chair with professionals fussing over him like bees on a beautiful flower and he sighed a little when he thougth of how lucky he was.

 

They were done and Minghao rejoined Junhui attentively until a woman rushed over to them. “You’re the sixth boy right?” she asked Minghao and he shook his thick curls. “No I’m Junhui’s assistant.” She ran off in a rush and they both had a giggle but soon she was back. “Number six didn’t turn up. You want the job?”

 

Minghao was about to shake his head again. Dancing was his comfort zone, it made him feel strong and confident, and capable. He’d never modelled and dind’t know the first thing about being in front of a camera but Junhui reached out and squeezed his hand tight as he nodded at him. Unspoken words rushed between them. Minghao blinked at Junhui with his big eyes and the begging in them was plain. He needed his help and he needed his reassurance. He needed Junhui’s strength to do this. And when his eyes met Junhui’s the unspoken request was answered silently. Junhui would help him and he could do it with him by his side. He knew that as long as Junhui was there he could do anything.

 

“Sure,” he said carefully and she pushed him towards a chair. Hair and makeup descended on him and he was quickly transformed. They were directed in front of the stills photographer in their own shirts, pale pink matching with baby blue, and the photographer and stylist couldn’t get over their delight. “Perfect. You guys have such amazing chemistry together!” the photographer yelled excitedly as he snapped away. The combination of the early morning sun, their flawless looks, and the warm glow of affection that radiated from them as they looked at each other made for a magical combination. “Are you two brothers?” the stylist asked as she fixed their shirts between takes and they laughed. “No. We’re not brothers.” Junhui smiled softly at Minghao who smiled back.

 

 

Soonyoung had just arrived home from the company. He’d been given the responsibility of working with a music producer to come up with some lyrics for their first single. He was also going to be the choreographer and he was relishing the opportunity to take more responsibility with the group. His boundless energy and talent needed an outlet and he had found it. He dropped his bag and took off his shoes, walking in to find Minghao and Junhui lounging on the couch, grinning up at him like they had a secret. “How did the shoot go?” he asked as he plopped his tired body into the armchair and Junhui smiled broadly. “Two weeks time and you’ll see us on tv!” he said excitedly and Soonyoung looked from Junhui’s grin, over to a smiling Minghao, and back to Junhui. “Both of you?” he laughed. Minghao was literally a good luck magnet. His charm and charisma were going to get him a long way in life.

 

But Minghao’s smile and his glittering eyes hid his inner terror. He coulnd’t get his court appearance out of his mind.


	23. Chapter 23

 

 

The day they had all been dreading was looming large. It was the next day. Minghao knew he had to meet with the company lawyer today and he was terrified. He rolled over in the bed and willed his eyes to close again, to block the entire outside world, to ignore the sunlight streaming in low through the window. He lay perfectly still but he felt the shuffling of Junhui next to him as their limbs tangled together in the early morning chill.

 

“Wake up Hao Hao….” Junhui crooned softly. Every morning it was the same and it filled Minghao’s heart with warmth and quiet joy. Minghao shook his head with his eyes closed. He didn’t want to face the world outside the blankets. Here under Junhui’s thick winter quilt he had love and happiness and companionship. The world outside was scary.

 

He rolled over and felt Junhui pull him closer. Their bodies melted together like they were made for each other and he could feel the hot breath on the back of his neck as Junhui began to nuzzle his hair with his nose. “Hao… you need to get up. You want Seungcheol to find us here like this?” Junhui made a convincing argument and Minghao decided he would get up but not before he got what he wanted. His hands snaked across Junhui’s bare skin, caressing his hips, tracing the hard muscles on Junhui’s stomach.

 

He let them slip lower and relished the gasp that escaped Junhui’s mouth. “You’re always so hard...” he murmured as he slid under the quilt and used his mouth to bring Junhui to orgasm. He licked and sucked and swallowed until the older boy tugged frantically at his hair and Junhui’s silent moans of joy filled the room. Minghao couldn’t get enough. He was so addicted to everything Junhui was, his perfect features, his hard body, his supple lips.

 

But more than that, it was his awkward affectations, his restless childlike manner, his complete lack of self consciousness. His caring nature, his generosity of spirit, his gentle loving heart. Minghao was in love with everything Junhui was and all that he knew he would become. He wanted to tell him but he was terrified of what was coming. They would have to weather the storm before they could dance in the rain.

 

 

 

Minghao showered and dressed quickly in his jeans and another borrowed shirt of Junhui’s. He put on socks and pulled his brand new white Converse onto his feet and smiled at them. The little money he had earned had grown with his cheque from the modelling job and he allowed himself to splurge a little. It made a huge difference. Clean shoes made him feel less scruffy, less like a street kid sleeping on someone’s couch, like a real trainee with a home and a company and a group.

 

He wandered out to find Seungcheol sipping coffee with Soonyoung talking in hushed voices. “You ready?” Seungcheol asked as Junhui put a hot mug of coffee into the boy’s hands. “Can I drink this first?” he asked as he dropped his eyes. Minghao’s confidence with his members was growing but he was still shy around Seungcheol and other people he saw as important. His eyes darted from side to side as he saw Junhui near the door pulling his shoes on as well. Relief washed over Minghao when his silent request was answered. Junhui was coming with him.

 

They walked out their building and down the road to the company in silence. As they entered the building Seungcheol tried to break the gloomy mood. “Minghao, everything will be fine, I have a good feeling.” He smiled at the boy who trained his eyes on the floor until Junhui slipped his hand inside his. Seungcheol watched his face change in an instant and he looked up and smiled. First at the warm reassurance in Junhui’s face. Then at the gentle concern in Seungcheol’s. “The company had an excellent legal team. But you know that we are going to have to contact your parents sooner or later. Don’t you want them to know you’re okay?”

 

Minghao blinked back a few tears that threatened the corners of his eyes. He did want them to know he was okay. But he still had 4 months until he was legally an adult and every day he got a little closer to true freedom and a little further away from their control. What if they showed up and made him go home?

 

But he knew Seungcheol was right. He had no papers, no identification, no legal status. He knew the company was breaking its own rules by allowing him to work and get paid. He took a deep breath and willed his sadness away. Junhui told him it would be fine and it would be fine. They would always be together.

 

He walked into a room and shrank. Kim Mingyu was there with two lawyers in suits and Minghao felt small and scared. He took a seat as Junhui held tight to his hand. He looked over and Junhui’ s eyes met his and the unspoken words between them were loud and clear.

 

_Please don’t let go._

_I won’t ever let go._

 

The lawyers and Seungcheol spoke and Minghao tried to listen. But it mostly went over his head, he was scared and finding it hard to concentrate, his emotions were all over the place and he willed them under control. He wanted to go home and hide, to roll his body inside the thick quilt, and never come out to face reality. But it was over soon, he knew his part to play, show up looking neat and act contrite and let the lawyers do all the talking.

 

They walked out after just an hour with Seungcheol next to them. “I’ll come and pick you boys up at three and we can go get Chan from school.” He said. “I’ve got a surprise for you all.” He smiled at them and hoped that Minghao would be able to get through the next few days. It was going to be rough on all of them but there was no escaping it. He watched them walk down the road, Minghao clinging to Junhui’ s arm, and he smiled to himself. If they could just keep Minghao it would all be perfect.

 

Seungcheol shook his head as he watched them. Minghao must have been born under a lucky star or something. He had it all. Looks, talent, and an inescapable charisma. He couldn’t believe he had scored a modelling job just by being there. He was so glad that he had found him before someone else. And since he had been in the group Junhui was like a different person. It was like Minghao’s own charisma and infectious joy magnified Junhui’ s natural charms. They were a powerhouse together and Seungcheol saw success for all of them in their future.

 

 

Two hours later Seungcheol stood in a mid range clothing store surrounded by four excited boys. The sales assistant had suits and shirts and shoes piled up on chairs and on the floor and all around them. They lined up in front of the mirror admiring their new looks. Their suits were all similar but a little different, varying slightly in their shades of grey, crisp white shirts underneath all four. They all sported new shiny black dress shoes, neat coloured ties, belts and undershirts. “Is this really ours?” Minghao’s wide eyed gaze was fixed firmly on Seungcheol who nodded with a smile. “Yes Minghao. You can’t turn up at court tomorrow in jeans and the company figured you all would need these sooner or later.”

 

Sooner than you think. Seungcheol thought as he watched them laugh and admire their new looks in the full length mirrors in the store.

 

Pending everything going as hoped with Minghao and his court the company had approved their debut.


	24. Chapter 24

 

 

Junhui woke up to the soft sounds of stifled tears. He felt a shaking and he knew instantly through his sleepy haze that Minghao was crying. He grabbed his phone from under his pillow and checked the time. 3:47am.

 

“Hao?” he murmured and Minghao hid his face under the quilt. But there was nowhere to hide in the tiny bed they shared and Junhui pulled him close. “Don’t cry. It’s all going to be fine.” He didn’t know if he was trying to convince Minghao or himself but the words didn’t soothe Minghoa’s sobs.

 

“What if I get locked up?” he sniffed and Junhui rolled him over so they were facing. Their noses were an inch apart and Junhui’s eyes searched every inch of Minhghao’s features. His big brown eyes were puffy and red even in the dark room. His cheeks were damp and streaked with tears and his lips were trembling. “You’re not going to get locked up. Ok?” Junhui said quietly. He reached out with his hand and Minghao’s tears disappeared under his thumb. “What if my parents come and take me away?” he sniffed and Junhui did too.

 

That was the real threat. Eveyone knew Minghao’s parents had to be contacted. It was holding the group back and couldn’t be avoided any longer. Junhui took a deep breath before he spoke. He knew Minghao wouldn’t like to hear it but he had already decided. “If they take you away I’ll come with you.”

 

Minghao began to shake his head. “No Jun, no, you can’t even think of that….” But Junhui just pulled him close and soothed him with soft words. “It’ll be fine. I’ll go home to my parents, I’ll see you every day, and when you turn eighteen we can run away back here.” Junhui smiled softly as he ran his fingers through the thick mop of hair on the other boy’s head. “There’ll be other groups and other companies. We’ll get someone to take us.”

 

As much as Minghao couldn’t stand the thought of Junhui throwing his dreams away the idea that they would’t be separated soothed him more than anything and wrapped tight in Junhui’s arms sleep returned for a little while. Tied together by love and destiny and fate Minghao knew his future was Junhui’s and whatever path they had to take they would walk it forever.

 

Six hours later he stood neat and tidy in his new suit. His hair was combed conservatively and had tried to comply. Seungcheol stood on one side of him and Kim Mingyu stood on the other and he felt somewhat safe with these men by his side. But there was someone else he was looking for. He allowed himself to turn and briefly scan the scattering of people in the public viewing area and when his eyes caught the violet locks on the boy seated up the back he relaxed. In that moment he was filled with regret over his past life. Regret and sadness and shame washed over him and he looked at the people standing in his corner now. Seungcheol, so smart and responsible, so even tempered and caring. Kim Mingyu, so tall and charismatic and clever, and so warm and friendly. Soonyoung, a born leader overflowing with talent, a powerhouse of energy and joy.

 

And Junhui.

 

Minghao had never known true love at first sight could exist until he saw a flash of violet hair dancing in the night. But only true love and the string of fate that tied them could have made this beautiful boy put his future on the line for a skinny street junkie. Minghao wasn’t a religious person but in that moment he said a silent prayer to some unknown deity thanking the universe for brining Junhui into his life. He made a silent promise that whatever love and joy he received he would spend his life magnifying into the world. That he would never take his life, or those in it, for granted and he would treat each day as a precious gift.

 

He shifted as the Judge entered and it was a woman. Mingyu flashed a smile at the other two as the three sat and the lawyer continued to stand. This was good news for them already.

 

Minghao had no idea what was happening. He tried to pay attention as the lawyer spoke and the judge spoke, the prosecutor spoke, and witnesses started to come in. The security guard he kicked testified that it was barely even a kick and had occurred when Minghao slipped a little. Probably an accident. Minghao was confused by his account of the situation but Mingyu wasn’t and he smiled to himself as he heard the ‘revised’ version of events.

 

The supermarket manager testified in a bored manner as to the value of the items which made up the charge of theft. A grand total of under fifteen dollars. The items had been recovered and returned to the store.

 

Then his shame. The arresting officer testified as to the amount of drugs Minghao had been carrying and the evidence was presented. Minghao felt sick as he stared at the little bags holding everything that used to be important to him. Their false promises of joy and happiness and euphoria were nothing compared to the tangible love he now had. The false warmth and frightening ecstasy couldn’t match the way he felt when he was locked in Junhui’s arms

 

Minghao flushed with embarrassment and tried to turn his attention from his thoughts back to the events unfolding in the court. He saw Seungcheol take the stand as a character witness and it broke him. Tears streamed down his cheeks when he listened to Seungcheol describing a boy who had found his calling, a truly changed person with a new sense of work ethic and responsibility. He sniffed and wiped his cheek with his sleeve before Mingyu silently handed him a tissue for which he was grateful.

 

After what felt like forever the witnesses were done and the judge spoke. “Xu Minghao, before I make a decision I need to know, is this part of your life completely in the past?” Mighao nodded wide eyed and blinked at her in earnestness. Mingyu smiled to himself. The boy knew how to play his part without even trying. No one could possibly look at that innocence and see anything other than a suitably chastised boy, led off the rails by bad company, back on the right track by focusing on his talent.

 

“Will you submit to an on the spot drug test?” she peered down the lenses of her round glasses and Minghao nodded. Seungcheol nudged him and he quickly spoke. “Yes Your Honour.”

 

He immediately followed the court officer into a room and came out quickly. The judge called for a recess and they gathered together to go and get some lunch. Seungcheol pulled Minghao back from the pack and spoke quietly to him. “Are you one hundred percent sure the test will be negative?” he said quietly and Minghao’s eyes brimmed with tears. “Yes. Of course.” He was terrified. Seungcheol was making him second guess himself even though he knew he hadn’t touched anything since he moved in. His panicked eyes looked for the security of Junhui but he was walking up ahead with Soonyoung and Mingyu and couldn’t sense his need.

 

“I hope so Minghao. I really hate to doubt your word but Soonyoung said that he can often hear you moving around in the apartmentlate at night.” Minghao’s eyes turned from terrified to embarrassed. “That’s not me. That’s usually Junhui. He gets up in the night to get me snacks because he says I’m still too skinny.” His cheeks flushed pink and Seungcheol felt awful for doubting him. As Minghao’s big eyes, still glassy with unshed tears, blinked at Seungcheol he felt himself totally sucked in. This kid was so cute he just made you melt. Seungcheol wasn’t immune to his charms and he could totally see how the other boys were just so whipped for him. Especially Junhui.

 

“Ok kiddo.” Seungcheol said as he put his arm around the scared kid who was taller than him. “I believe you.” He said and he did.


	25. Chapter 25

 

 

After a solemn lunch court resumed. The witnesses had all been heard, the evidence had been presented, and now it was time to hear the verdict. Minghao was desperate for the comfort of Junhui beside him but this was something he had to do alone. He kept his breathing slow and summoned every ounce of inner strength he could muster. He closed his eyes and pictured Junhui, beside him, smiling at him, walking together hand in hand. He pictured the kind of man he wanted to become. Someone strong and purposeful, someone with work ethic and values, someone Junhui could be proud of.

 

The judge started talking and he tried to focus again. Seungcheol slipped a smile his way as she announced that his drug test was clean and he breathed a sigh of relief. The charges of assault were dropped, the charge of theft was downgraded to shoplifting, and the drugs charges were all that remained looming over him.

 

“Xu Minghao. It is my opinion that you have shown that you want to make a change. You have people around you supporting you and caring about you. You are very lucky to have that support and I urge you not to take it for granted.

 

I am sentencing you to a bond of good behaviour in lieu of a three month juvenile detention order. If you can fulfil the requirements, and stay out of trouble until your eighteenth birthday, I will accept the submission by your employer to have your records sealed. Minghao do you understand what this means?”

 

Minghao shook his head, slightly panicked, and looked from Seungcheol to Mingyu and back to the judge. They seemed quietly pleased and Minghao hoped desperately it was good news.

 

“It means you can go home today. Stay out of trouble and when you turn 18 this whole incident will be wiped clean like it never happened. But one foot out of line, one single run in with the law, and you will serve out an automatic prison sentence of three months. Does this make sense?”

 

The heavy sinking pit in Minghao’s stomach suddenly broke apart. The light feeling of relief washed over him when he realised he was going to be free. It was all going to be okay. He couldn’t hold in the tears as they streamed down his cheeks. He nodded and bowed and thanked her profusely and she smiled gently at him.

 

“Are your parents here today?” she asked and Minghao shook his head. “They’re estranged. I’m responsible for Minghao.” Seungcheol interjected and the judge looked a little bothered. “I would prefer to release you into the custody of your parents but I will allow your Manager to take responsibility for you. I don’t want to see you again Minghao.” She said. “You won’t. I promise,” he replied.

 

They waited until they were outside before the little group of boys and men erupted into a quiet celebration. Mingyu seemed awfully pleased with himself and shook the company lawyer’s hand many many times. As long as Minghao stayed out of trouble no one would ever be able to find out about this. He was just thankful this happened before the boy got too famous. He had big plans for his star and Minghao and Junhui getting the television commercial was just the start of big things for the both of them. Mingyu’s PR mind was already working overtime on how he could create a buzz when the commercial was released.

 

Seungcheol was ecstatic as he watched the three boys laughing and hugging each other. Soonyoung was hysterical. He was another step closer to debut and his excitement was infectious. Junhui seemed overwhelmed with emotions as he clung to Minghao like he thought he was going to run away. And Minghao just stood in the middle of it all still crying. He pulled away from the grasp of his members and went to Seungcheol and the older was shocked when Minghao, usually reserved with him, pulled him into a tight hug. “Thank you,” was all the boy whispered and Seungcheol just hugged him back. “You’re welcome,” he said in return. “Now you know I have to call your parents. It’s the only thing holding you back now.”

 

Minghao endured what felt like the longest dinner in the world. Seungcheol had provided celebratory pizzas for his little brood and the three had been joined by Chan after school for a celebration. He was happy and he was increasingly comfortable with the company of the others but all he could think about was being alone with Junhui. The last few weeks had been shaded with the threat of Minghao being locked up and he needed the comfort he could only find in the arms of his love.

 

He couldn’t help stealing glances at the stunning violet haired boy stuffing pizza into his mouth as Soonyoung made him laugh. When he was happy his whole face was lit with an inner glow that was almost ethereal. The more Minghao stared at him the more he was fascinated by his beauty. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. Chan nudged him and when Minghao broke his gaze he looked down at the smiling eyes of the teenager next to him. “You stare at him a lot,” Chan whispered to Minghao who blushed and shook his head. “I was just wondering what Soonyoung said that was so funny.”

 

Finally Chan’s parents came to pick him up and the three were left behind. Soonyoung was tired and went to bed and the other two were able to retreat into their own little world. A world of increasingly desperate kisses and heavily frantic touches. A world of warm words and whispered pleasures and endless unspoken prose.

 

 

 

Just as Minghao was drifting off to sleep his cracked phone buzzed with a text. It was Seungcheol and he could read the message behind the shatter marks on the screen. “I’ve called your parents. They’ll be here in three days.”


	26. Chapter 26

 

When dawn broke on the day they’d been waiting for Minghao stretched and smiled. It was getting warmer every day and he’d even tossed the quilt off the night before as the warmth between them was enough.

 

He stared at Junhui’s beautiful features while the other boy still slept. No longer afraid to touch Minghao’s fingers travelled the soft features of Junhui’s face. His skin was perfectly flawless and glowing with youth and good health. His dark roots were showing through the soft brown coloured hair. Minghao missed the violet desperately but he knew that Junhui’s natural perfection would be shining in the print ads and on tv that day.

 

“Wake up Jun-gē..” he whispered and got no response. He frowned and poked at the other boy and when he got no reaction he smirked and decided to take advantage of the situation. His hand slipped down under the blankets as he searched for his favourite toy but suddenly squealed too loudly when Junhui grabbed him and flipped his positions.

 

“I was awake...” Junhi smirked and when Minghao began to giggle Junhui shushed him with a deep slow kiss. “You need to brush your teeth...” Minghao teased as they broke apart but Junhui just laughed loudly and pecked a kiss on his cheek. “So do you!”

 

 

 

 

Junhui answered the knock at the door while Minghao was in the shower and he clutched the little box with delight. He wasn’t sure his parents would come through with this latest request but he really didn’t ask them for much. He’d let his birthday slip quietly past the other boys a few months ago for a few reasons. First of all because he never really liked making a big deal of things like that. Second of all he wanted to spare Minghao the burden of obligation. He knew the boy would want to do something for him, definitely give him something, and he already knew he had nothing to give. So when he asked his parents for a new phone they were obliging and it was in his hands a few days later.

 

He opened the box as he sat on the bed and pulled the sim card out of his old phone. He put it in the new one and turned it on and began setting it up as he reclined on his pillows. Minghao wandered back into the room with a towel around his waist and began getting dressed as Junhui watched him. He was just so smitten. The other was truly mesmerising as he moved, his hair wet from the shower and pushed back from his face, his body still skinny but no longer emaciated.

 

Minghao tossed some boxers and a tshirt on and looked over at Junhui. “New phone?” he asked in surprise and Junhui nodded. “Here,” he said casually as he tossed his old phone over to Minghao. Junhui’s ‘old’ phone was not even two years old and had always been kept in a case. It wasn’t scratched or cracked or even dirty. Minghao looked down at it and back up at Junhui who was still setting up his new one. “Jun…” he said softly and moved onto the bed. “Jun are you just going to give me everything?” he said quietly and Junhui nodded. He put the new phone down and pulled Minghao into his arms and sighed as the younger settled between his legs. “Yes,” he murmured against Minghao’s ear before pecking it with a little kiss. “I’m going to give you everything. I’m going to give you the whole world and more.”

 

Minghao rolled so they were facing and ran his hands up under Junhui’s shirt. “Then give me what I want more than anything. Please...” They’d had this discussion already more than once to the dissatisfaction of Minghao. “No, Minghao, I won’t take that from you yet….” Junhui closed his eyes as he gave in to the sensual delight of Minghao teasing his nipple with his delicate fingers, the soft kissed down the side of his neck, Minghao’s heavy exhalations overwhelmingly erotic. “Not yet,” Junhui untangled himself from the boy wrapped around him and ran a hand through his fluffy mop of hair.

 

 

 

 

Minghao was trying not to pout. He was dressed in his same old pair of black ripped jeans and a plain black muscle top he’d made himself by cutting up a cheap tshirt he’d bought. He tied a flannel around his waist and added a little BB cream and dark eyeliner. It was enough. He lounged on the couch and fiddled with his new phone but he had other things on his mind. Seungcheol had told Junhui and Minghao to be ready for a little outing and he was waiting distractedly for him to arrive.

 

Soonyoung flopped on the couch next to him and looked at the iPhone in Minghao’s hand still in its cover of purple rubber and little cat stickers. “Isn’t that Junhui’s phone?” he asked and Minghao shrugged. “Mine now. His parents sent him a new one.” Soonyoung chuckled. “Must be nice to have rich parents. It’s not even his birthday. That was months ago.” Minghao put the phone down and stared at Soonyoung. “When?” he asked and Soonyoung shrugged. “In June. He didn’t want to make a big deal apparently. I only knew because Seungcheol told me a few days later.”

 

Minghao frowned but was soon distracted by Junhui’s entrance. He was dressed in blue ripped jeans and a black hoodie with a pair of red Converse that made Minghao jealous. “New phone?” Soonyoung asked and Junhui tossed it to him to have a look. “Nice.” Soonyoung said as he tossed it back. “What are you guys doing today?” he was curious and they both shrugged. “Don’t know. Seungcheol said it was a surprise.”

 

An hour later Junhui and Minghao were following Mingyu and Seungcheol through the open air mall near the company. Young people were milling around shopping and eating and hanging out and they drew curious looks as they walked. When they rounded a corner into the centre of the mall, a wide courtyard area with benches and gardens, the boys both gasped in surprise. Their photo advertisement for the skincare line was larger than life on a big billboard. A cut of just the two of them, all glowing skin and shiny hair, pressed close to each other as they smiled into the camera.

 

“No one said there would be a billboard?” Junhui’s eyes glittered as he turned to the others standing there. Mingyu just smiled to himself. The company paid for the billboard with the permission of the brand and Mingyu made them stand in front of it. He made a big deal about taking photos of them in front of it, calling out for them to play it up, and the two excited boys were only too happy to oblige.

 

The two stunning boys in front of the billboard soon attracted a curious crowd and as the boys laughed and posed in front of it Mingyu took pictures and Seungcheol made sure to tell everyone who they were and to keep an eye out for their debut. They had been working so hard he had decided that as soon as Minghao’s birthday passed they would be ready for debut. He just had to deal with the parents.

 


	27. Chapter 27

 

 

When they arrived home buzzing with adrenaline and excitement they found Soonyoung out. There was a note stuck to the refrigerator door that said 'Choreographing at the company. Don't wait for me to eat.." Junhui read the note and crumpled it up and turned to find Minghao right behind him. "Why didn't you tell me about your birthday?" he asked and Junhui frowned. "You'd only been here a few weeks and I knew you would feel bad. I knew you would want to give me something. It was no big deal anyway..." the sentence trailed off as Minghao pressed their lips together and pressed Junhuis's body hard against the refrigerator. "I still want to give you something,” he murmured as he thrust his hips hard against Junhui. “Please let me. I’m tired of waiting Jun.”

 

Junhui kissed him hard and slow, their tongues moving in a languid synchronisation, and when they broke apart and he stared into Minghao’s eyes he knew it was right. “Please Jun. My parents will be here tomorrow. This might be our last chance.” Minghao’s eyes were begging him and Junhui sighed heavily as he took him by the hand. He led him into their bedroom and made sure the door was locked and by the time he turned around Minghao was already naked on his bed.

 

His eyes washed over Minghao’s smooth naked skin. In the six months or so they had been together he had seen the boy transform slowly from a skinny street junkie with sallow skin and heavy eyes to the glowing picture of health and happiness in front of him. “Hao...” he said softly as he sat on the bed. “You’re so beautiful...”

 

In truth he had been worried he wasn’t going to be able to do this but now that the time had come Junhui’s nerves were swallowed up in a wave of pure lust. He tore his tshirt off over his head and threw it to the ground. He noticed goosebumps all over Minghao and he pulled the covers back and made the other get under the blanket. Junhui’s eyes went to the light switch and he got up and flicked it off plunging the room into a subdued grey glow.

 

He dropped his pants and when he was naked he slid onto the small bed next to Minghao. It was dim and silent and the only thing cutting through the tension was the sound of their synchronised breathing. Junhui reached out and felt soft skin under his fingertips and he moved closer as Minghao shifted underneath him.

 

Their bare skin pressed together as they kissed in the dark. Every part of their warm bodies touched as Junhui settled between Minghao’s open legs. His reluctance and his self control had disappeared along with his shyness as Junhui kissed Minghao harder and rolled his hips against the other. He was harder than he ever thought possible and as his hands wound though Minghao’s thick locks and his mouth moved down his neck he heard Minghao let out a soft moan. It sounded like heaven as it travelled straight from Junhui’s ears to his groin and he rutted harder against Minghao.

 

Minghao’s moans were so hot, so arousing, that Junhui wanted to do everything he could to make him moan again. He slipped down lower, using his tongue to trace the length of Minghao’s smooth hairless chest, down even lower to run across his muscled stomach. Minghao had used his mouth on Junhui more than a few times and it always made Junhui feel incredible. But he had always been too shy to return the favour until now. “Is this okay?” he asked gently as he looked up in the dim light. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness and he could see the warm glow of Minghao’s expression as he stared back and smiled. “Yes Jun its okay.”

 

Junhui took a mouthful of the delicate skin between Minghao’s legs. He sucked gently at his inner thigh before tentatively tasting the end of Minghao’s erection with his tongue. He was still a little reticent but when Minghao moaned loudly and gripped his hair Junhui immediately lost all inhibition. Instinct took over and he sucked hard, his tongue working the underside, his breathing laboured as he suppressed the urge to gag.

 

 

Minghao grabbed the pillow and pressed it against his face hoping it would swallow up some of his noise. He couldn’t hold it in, Junhui’s mouth was amazing, and the feeling was almost overwhelming. He had waited for this night for what felt like forever. The combination of anticipation, arousal and affection was making his head spin. He knew no matter what happened in the future this was it. This was the way it had to be. The red string of fate that had drawn them together bound even tighter with every heavy exhalation.

 

As Junhui’s inexperienced mouth made him feel lightheaded a little sadness washed over Minghao. The fact that it wasn’t his first time was distracting and he tried to push his past deep down. The things he had done before were all a blur of drugs and obligation. His past experiences were just empty transactions muddled with the false high he used to mistake for pleasure.

 

Before the sadness ruined the moment Junhui suddenly stopped. He let out a heavy breath and moved his naked body back up to meet Minghao’s distracted gaze. Minghao felt gentle hands rest on his cheeks as Junhui stared at him in the dark. “I love you Hao Hao...” a quiet voice whispered and warmth washed over Minghao along with a realisation.

 

Love...

 

Minghao realised this was his first time. His first time with warmth and pleasure and love. “I love you too...” He whispered back and leaned up to kiss Junhui slowly and softly. He gave in to the kiss, their tongues caressing, before breaking it and pushing Junhui off him.

 

“What are you doing?” Junhui asked as Minghao rolled away and began searching in his little bedside cupboard. “Looking for something.” Minghao said and when he found the lube and handed it to Junhui the other boy just stared at it blankly.

 

Minghao sighed and took the bottle back. Junhui’s innocence was endearing but Minghao thought he might have done at least some research. But he clearly hadn’t as he watched wide eyed and stunned into silence as Minghao coated his fingers in the lube and began to finger himself. He stared open mouthed as he knelt on the bed and watched Minghao use one finger on himself, slowly moving it in and out, before inserting another.

 

Junhui had never seen anything so hot in his life. He couldn’t tear his eyes away as the boy he loved writhed and squirmed on the bed with his fingers inside himself. Minghao’s breathing became ragged and desperate, his soft moans increasing, a fine gleam of sweat forming across his brow. “I’m ready...” Minghao whispered as he let his fingers slip out but Junhui didn’t move. “Jun... Jun?” Minghao repeated himself and Junhui was finally shaken from his silence.

 

He was nervous and still a little shy but he was also filled with arousal and lust. Minghao handed him the bottle again and this time Junhui opened it and poured a whole heap out into his hand. He stroked his erection slowly, coating it in the lube, and it felt so hard. Junhui shuddered as he touched himself and moved slowly between Minghao’s legs. “I don’t want to hurt you...” he said and Minghao pulled him close. “You won’t...” he said and he meant it.

 

 

He meant it. Junhui could never hurt him. Junhui would never hurt him. He just knew. Their unshakeable bond, already mental and emotional, was about to become physical. A tangible connection they could see and feel. He watched Junhui move closer, his movements still a little unsure, but Junhui gripped his erection and lined it up and with an encouraging smile from Minghao he finally pushed himself inside.

 

 

And Minghao was right. It didn’t hurt. It felt right and real and incredible. Junhui settled his weight on his elbows and began to thrust slowly in and out of Minghao, his eyes closed, his breathing heavy and laboured. “Damn it Hao. You feel so good...” he murmured and rode his body slowly against Minghao. His hips rolled sensually and he began to moan and Minghao reached up and pulled him even closer.

 

His own erection trapped in the warm friction between their stomachs began to throb. As Junhui thrust harder and Minghao pulled him closer he felt his own orgasm building fast. Arousal coiled in his stomach and as soon as he moved his hand to grip his cock Minghao came hard into his own hand. As he came he wanted to cry out but he bit down hard on his lip to keep his voice inside.

 

 

As soon as Minghao tensed and cried out softly Junhui felt the warm wetness fill the space between their bodies. It was enough to send him over the edge and he snapped his hips as he chased his orgasm. “Hao...” Junhui breathed hot and heavy against Minghao’s neck as he drove his hips relentlessly against he other boy. And when he came and pleasure he never knew existed shot through his body only one word escaped his lips.

 

“Ahhh Hao....” his ecstasy was nothing more than a whisper. He fell exhausted on top of Minghao who shifted underneath him and they lay as one for what felt like forever.

 

They never wanted to be separated and the feeling of being connected was addictive. No one moved for the longest time as they luxuriated in their perfect moment. “I love you Hao..” Junhui whispered as he finally slid out and rolled over to lay flat on his back. “Me too.” Junhui was almost catatonic in his state of post coital relaxation but Minghao was giddy and exuberant. He giggled as he rolled over on top of Junhui and kissed his cheek, then his neck, then down his chest.

 

He wanted to remember this moment forever and he knew he would. He knew they would eventually have a million chances to relive it but right now he knew this was an inevitable goodbye.

 

And an hour later, both showered and cozily ensconced on one tiny single bed, Junhui’s soft snores filled the room, but Minghao stared at the ceiling in the dark. He couldn’t sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

 

 

Seungcheol shifted nervously in his seat. He was a confident man, even though he was young he was talented and strong, and he knew the company had faith in its young staff. But he had never had to do anything like this before. How could he sit across from two parents and explain that he wanted to keep their child away from them? How could he try to convince them that he knew what was best for their child? Their own flesh and blood. But when he’d turned up at the apartment early that morning and found Minghao sobbing on the couch in Junhui’s arms he knew he had to do everything he could to get them to let the boy stay. It was no longer about the company, or his own professional prestige, or money or fame or success. It was about Minghao’s happiness.

 

On the advice of Mingyu Seungcheol had told the boys to stay at the apartment. They would meet with the parents first and try to plead their case but both Seungcheol and Mingyu knew that if Minghao’s parents refused and wanted to take him home they couldn’t do anything about it. Plan B was to delay their debut, again, in hopes of Minghao coming back to them when he was an adult. It wasn’t ideal but they knew they couldn’t split the four boys up now. Not after all the progress they had made. Mingyu was already fielding calls from companies interested in Minghao and Junhui for more modelling work, Soonyoung was a choreography machine, and little Chan was the most talented kid Seungcheol had ever met. They had to stay together. This was the dream team.

 

There was a knock at the door and Mingyu got up and opened it with a deep and polite bow. Two people walked in, neat and pleasant looking, well dressed and composed. Mingyu offered them a seat and greeted them in the little Mandarin he knew and they made their own polite greetings. The interepreter introduced everyone and then they began to speak.

 

“Where is our son?” Mr Xu asked as his eyes darted around the room. He was composed but Seungcheol could tell he was keeping his emotions tightly in check. His wife reached out and gripped his hand tight. “He’s coming. I just wanted to have some time to explain to you how well he is doing here. He’s talented and charming and we can make his dreams come true Mr and Mrs Xu. He’s very happy.” Seungcheol babbled a little nervously and waited for the interpreter to relay his words.

 

“Happy? How do you think we have felt wondering if our son is alive? Waiting for news, waiting for him to come home, waiting for police to turn up on our doorstep with a notification.” Mr Xu was clearly the more emotional one as Mrs Xu sat stone faced. Finally she spoke as well. “Happiness is irrelevant. Minghao has a home waiting for him. He belongs with us and needs to finish his school and face his responsibilities. He has a fiancée to think about and a family medical practice to take over.”

 

Seungcheol and Mingyu glanced at each other in surprise. Minghao had never ever spoke to either of them about what he was running away from.  Either Minghao had done an incredible job at hiding who he really was or his parents didn’t know him at all because the future they spoke of wasn’t Minghao’s at all. Seungcheol knew the kid was smart but a doctor treating colds and concussions in a family medical practice? With a wife waiting for him at home? These people didn’t know their child at all.

 

Mingyu, through the translator, explained to them their child’s explosive talent. His charms and his charisma, his looks and his skills, but they were unmoved. “Please just let us see our son. It is time for him to come home.” Minghao’s mother was formidable and Mingyu wasn’t stupid. He knew he wasn’t winning them over one bit. It was all up to Minghao now.

 

 

 

“It will be fine.” Junhui whispered softly as Minghao clung to him outside in the corridor. They had walked the block or so from home to the company and the weather was unseeasonally warm on this beautiful sunny afternoon. It was a perfect afternoon for blowing off the pressure of the practice room and heading out to the open air mall for icecream or frappes.  But instead one sad boy clung to one scared one as they walked where there feet never wanted to take them.

 

“It wont be fine.” Minghao used Junhui’s tshirt to wipe his eyes. “You don’t know them. They aren’t like your parents.” Minghao knew of Junhui’s parents’ love of the arts, their encouragement of their son’s dreams, the freedom of expression Junhui had grown up with. It was a different world to the one Minghao had lived in for the first seventeen years of his life.

 

“It will be fine. Remember what I told you. I already spoke to my parents. They’ll make the arrangements for me to come home as well.” Junhui smoothed down Minghao’s hair and put his arms around him. The world stopped spinning for a bried moment as they held each other tight in the corridor before they were interrupted by Seungcheol.

 

“Come in please Minghao.” He said and Junhui released the boy from his arms. They shared one last look and even though their physical connection had been severed by necessity their emotional one never broke. Their hands might have to let go but their hearts never would.

 

 

_Don’t let go._

_I wont ever let go._

 

 

When Minghao walked in it was enough to break the perfect façade of his parents. Despite his fear of the situation Minghao had missed them terribly. He ran into the open arms of his mother who squeezed him tight before shaking him by the shoulders. “I thought you might be dead,” she said as she shook him furiously before hugging him again. “You’ve grown. Something’s changed.” She eyed him curiously as she stroked his cheek and ruffled his hair. “Your hair has been coloured.” She sniffed her judgemental disapproval of the colour and length of his fluffly mop of hair. “Hi Dad.” He said quietly as he shook his Dad’’s hand and gave him a hug. “You’re almost a man now,” his dad said. “Time to act like one and be responsible.”

 

“But I have a responsibility here,” he said quietly. “To my group. To my friends.” His parents were unmoving and absolutely unwavering. His mother looked at the small group of men and boys surrounding her and when she spoke no one understood her but her husband, Minghao, and Junhui. “I’m taking my son home today,” she said coldly. “If you try and stop me I’ll call the police.”

 

Minghao went cold. _The police_. He couldn’t get in trouble with the police. If his parents found out about his trouble he would never be let out of their sight. “Can I at least get my stuff?” he asked quietly as his head hung low and his mother nodded.

 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly to Seungcheol and Mingyu. “They’re taking me home.”


	29. Chapter 29

 

 

Junhui had understood everything that was said. It was all so overwhelming, Minghao was going to be leaving and Junhui would have to explain to Seungcheol and Soonyoung that he was too, but most of all the bombshell that had been so casually dropped into the middle of the conversation.

 

“You have a fiancée?” Junhui hissed in Korean as they walked along the street. Minghao’s parents were behind them and showed no signs of letting their son out of their sight. “Fuck.” Tears filled Minghao’s eyes. Junhui was hurt and he knew it. “I’ve met her once Jun-gē. I can’t even remember her name. So no. I don’t have a fucking fiancée.” He looked so absolutely defeated that Junhui regretted his selfish and self centred actions immediately. “I’m sorry Hao,” he whispered as they walked quickly back to the apartment still speaking to each other in secret.

 

Junhui could feel Minghao’s pain and he wanted nothing more than to let their fingers tangle together. He wanted Minghao to know he wasn’t alone. But the eyes of Minghao’s parents bore into him like fire as they walked and whispered in a language they knew would give them some semblance of privacy.

 

Minghao’s parents followed them into the building and up into the tiny apartment. Soonyoung was waiting on the couch and when he saw the two unfamiliar adults he knew it wasn’t good. “I’m sorry Soonyoung.” He fell onto his knees in front of the older boy. The boy he respected and looked up to so much as a leader and a big brother. The boy he never wanted to disappoint. “It’s not your fault Minghao,” Soonyoung whispered as he stroked his hair softly. But he couldn’t stop the tears of disappointment that stung his eyes and Soonyoung rushed off to his bedroom and slammed the door shut as Minghao lay on the floor in tears.

 

Junhui stared in horror as Minghao fell apart in front of him. All his strength that he had gained, his willpower and his confidence, it all came undone as he curled up on the carpet. Hurting Soonyoung had been the last straw. He looked over at Minghao’s parents, seemingly unwavering, and rushed to Minghao’s side. “Hao. Get up. Don’t let them see you like this,” he whispered as he scooped him up into his arms. His face was red and his cheeks were streaked with tears and despite all of this all Junhui could think of was how beautiful he was. “Come on,” he said as he dragged Minghao towards the bedroom. “I’ll help you with your stuff.”

 

When the bedroom door closed behind them they just held each other for what felt like forever. Minghao felt Junhui’s strength seeping into his bones through the embrace and he felt like he was regaining his strength. “It’s only three months Hao,” Junhui whispered. “Be strong. Okay?” The boy in his arms sniffed back his tears and nodded. Three months seemed like forever.

 

“You need to do something for me Jun,” Minghao said as he stared into the deep chocolate depths of Junhui’s gentle eyes. “Stay. Please don’t follow me home.” Junhui began to shake his head and turn away but Minghao gripped his cheeks with his hands and made him look him in the eye again. “Please,” he begged, “please stay here. Look after Soonyoung and keep his hope alive. Take care of Chan and make him smile. And give me something to come back to.” Junhui swallowed his pride and his feelings and nodded at the earnestness radiating from Minghao. “Okay. I’ll give you something to come home to. I’ll keep you bed here warm and I’ll make sure there’s always cake in the fridge and I’ll text you every day.”

 

Minghao broke their embrace and locked the door before pushing Junhui onto the bed. He climbed on top of him and kissed him with a fervent passion that Junhui had never felt before. The kiss was sad and angry, it was desperate and lonely, but it was also hungry and full of desire. As their tongues lashed furiously their feelings were slowly tempered by warmth and gentle consideration and it ended in a totally different place to where it started. Soft and loving and beautiful.

 

“I better not take too long,” Minghao said as he grabbed his backpack. He packed what little he had and tucked his Boo Boo panda into Junhui’s bed. “Cuddle him at night and think of me. Please?” Junhui nodded and it was taking all his strength not to fall to pieces. When Minghao was done Junhui grabbed his favourite hoodie, which also happened to be Minghao’s, and pulled it over the other boy’s head. “Wear it at night and think of me. Please?” He held his emotions in check but Minghao’s spilled free again and tears ran down his cheeks. “Every night.” He whispered and they shared one last kiss.

 

“When it’s time to come back just call me and I’ll send you the money for a plane ticket.” Junhui knew Minghao had travelled by train and boat and train again to make it to Seoul and he didn’t want him to have to do that again. He didn’t want Minghao to have to endure any more hardships no matter how minor they might seem. He deserved the world and everything wonderful in it. He deserved the best in life and Junhui was going to give it to him eventually. He would make sure of it. This was just a speed bump in their path. Nothing could break the tie that bound them to each other. Not time or space or distance.

 

As they walked out into the awkward atmosphere of the living room they found Seungcheol waiting. “I’m sorry Minghao. I tried,” he said and Minghao hugged him tight. “Thank you for giving me a chance. For seeing who I could be.”

 

He turned to Soonyoung who was trying to hide his disdain for Minghao’s parents. “Thank you Soonyoung. Wait for me okay? It will just be a little longer.” The tears were starting to fill his eyes again. He looked around the tiny little apartment which was too cold in winter but contained more warmth than he ever though he could find in a home.

 

He then turned to Junhui who just smiled softly at him. They had already said their words in private and no more were needed. Junhui reached out and grabbed his hand and gave it a tight squeeze.

 

 

_Please don’t let go._

_I won’t ever let go._

 

 

But he did, and he stood stoic and strong, as he watched Minghao’s parents lead him from the apartment and out of their life.


	30. Chapter 30

 

Minghao’s feet dragged along the concrete as he followed his parents in silence. He pulled his hands as far inside Junhui’s hoodie as he could. Somehow it felt comforting to have as much of his body as possible inside the thick black fabric. Finally his mother hailed a taxi from the side of the road and when they climbed in she attempted to tell the driver where to go. Minghao interjected and assisted with his now passable Korean and he directed the driver to the Four Seasons hotel. “Aren’t we going home?” Minghao asked and his mother shook her head. “No, we are going to have a nice family dinner, get a good night’s sleep, and fly out first thing in the morning.” She looked over Minghao’s ripped jeans and homemade muscle top and scrunched her nose.

 

Minghao sighed heavily. He knew he couldn’t please her. He would never be the son she wanted but he decided the best thing to do was shut his mouth and play along. When they got back to China he would start saving some money, he would get all his personal documents together, he would bide his time and wait until he could come home.

 

Home.

 

If they saying was ‘home is where the heart is’ then his home was wherever Junhui was. Three months seemed significant until he realised that it was only three months and then they would have forever. An eternity to be together, their hearts and souls tied with a bond that could never be broken, their bodies connected in a way that transcended the physical.

 

Patience, Minghao, have patience.

 

Patience was going to be his mantra, his word to live by, his focus for the next three months of his life. He could get through it, he knew he could, because he had a strength inside him now that made him feel like he could do anything.

 

The hotel room his parents had booked was nice. It was clean and bright and probably more spacious than his tiny apartment he shared with two other boys. But as he lay dejectedly on the white fluffy bed it felt small and suffocating. But he knew he just had to bear it.

 

As they headed out for dinner his parents tried to make conversation. “So how have you been?” his Dad asked as they sat. “Happy,” Minghao said dejectedly. His Dad had to believe him. The boy in front of him seemed more like a man now. His skin glowed with good health and his body looked fit and strong. “Those other boys really seem to care about you.” he continued as they ordered soft drinks and Minghao couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah. They do.” And for the first time, after having lost his son for so long, his father felt like he was seeing who he really was. And the son he had raised, the boy he hoped would grow into a man like him, was in fact nothing like him at all.

 

“I’m good at this.” Minghao spat out randomly into the wall of silence that surrounded the awkward family. “All of this. I’m really good at it.” His mother had to believe him. All his life she had been proud of her son and his achievements. All his life she had collected moments like little trophies, to put on display as an indicator of her own success as a mother, never considering talent or personality or dreams. To her the perfect son was one who achieved, who walked right and talked right and dressed right, who said and did all the right things. As she chewed her dinner and sipped her diet coke she wondered how far from her idealised perfection Minghao was. And if he would ever be able to live up to her impossibly high standards.

 

His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket. “No phones at the table,” his mother snapped but Minghao was over it already. He checked the text and it was from Junhui of course.

 

**_“Are you at the airport yet?”_ **

****

**_“No we are staying overnight at the Four Seasons first. Fly out early tomorrow.”_ **

 

He quickly replied as he slipped the phone back in his pocket. He didn’t want his mother to take it but he was also done trying to please her. He would just keep quiet and polite and endure every single pick and dig and instruction.

 

 

Junhui rolled over on Minghao’s bed as he read the text message. The news that he hadn’t even left the city struck him hard and he buried his face in the pillow that still held the lingering scent of Minghao’s favorite fruity shampoo. Why? Why couldn’t they have had one more night together? Junhui knew Minghao’s parents weren’t going to let him out of their sight but he could try and go see him one more time. He could try….

 

_Try...._

 

He hadn’t even tried. Seungcheol had tried to get them to let Minghao stay. Minghao had pleaded his case as best he could. But Junhui suddenly realised he had just stood by and let these people take the most precious thing in Junhui’s life right out from under his nose. Without him even speaking up, making a case, showing his feelings and how important it was that Minghao stayed.

 

Junhui’s parents might have been more liberal but he was still brough up with respect. The idea of challenging Minghao’s parents had never crossed his mind. Instead he had stood back and watched as his world fell apart and Minghao’s heart was crushed. He felt cold all over, he felt cold and useless, and most of all he felt the painful sting of regret for being so weak.

 

He suddenly jumped up from his bed and ran out into the living room. Soonyoung eyed his red puffy eyes with a combination of curiosity and sympathy. The bond the two had forged was well known to Soonyoung. He knew better than anyone how insperable they were. So he wasn’t surprised either when Junhui was pulling on his sneakers and near the front door. “I’m going to say one last goodbye,” was all he said to Soonyoung as he opened the door. He suddenly realised Minghao had left his winter coat behind again. Just like last time when he left it remained hanging near the door like a surrender flag and Junhui couldn’t bear it. He wouldn’t surrender this easily. Minghao’s parents might hate him forever after this but he had to go and try to get them to change their mind.

 

He grabbed the coat and tucked it under his arm. He ran out of the building and down to the street and began to walk as he kept an eye out for a taxi. When he finally saw one he waved it down and got in and told the driver to take him straight to the Four Seasons Hotel.

 

He stepped out and walked in to the lobby and got his phone out. He decided he would text Minghao and get the room number. He knew the desk wouldn’t give it up to just anyone. But as he went to dial he looked over through a doorway and they were right there in the restaurant eating and not talking. Minghao and his parents sitting in an uncomfortable silence picking at their food.

 

He didn’t even have to call out. It was like Minghao knew. As soon as Junhui took one step towards them Minghao looked up from his plate and spotted him and a glowing smile broke out across his face. Junhui smiled back and he strode purposefully towards them with the coat in his arms. It was the perfect excuse to be there and he had intended to use it but when he was faced with Minghao’s parents the excuse fled his mind. He only had truth and honesty left and it spilled out of him uncontrollably to their confusion and surprise.

 

“I’ve come to change your mind,” Junhui said with strength and stoicism. “I’ve come to beg you to let Minghao stay.” The exhaustion of the day overwhelmed him, he dropped to his knees as the coat fell from his arms onto the floor in front of him, stained quickly by two tears that dripped from his eyes. “Please don’t take him away from me. I need him.” Junhui said as he looked up. “I’m begging you to let him stay.”


	31. Chapter 31

 

 

When Minghao saw Junhui walking towards them in the hotel restaurant emotions flooded his body. Joy, relief, and the pain of having to say another goodbye. Just as he had talked himself into bravery and strengthened his nerves into steel Junhui was in front of him again tearing his soul apart. He looked from Junhui’s puffy red eyes to the heavy winter coat in his arms and just as he was about to speak he saw Junhui drop to his knees. The Junhui he knew was strong and silly, fun and joyful, and too respectful and shy to challenge anyone’s parents.

 

When he saw Junhui drop to the floor his heart screamed at him to run and pick him up but his legs wouldn’t move and his eyes couldn’t tear away from the scene in front of him.. He watched his parents stunned in surprise and then Junhui looked up and spoke. His face looked tired and sad but his voice was strong and clear and his words tumbled out with a bravery that Minghao didn’t expect even from Junhui.

 

“I’ve come to change your mind. I’ve come to beg you to let Minghao stay.” He watched two tears drip onto his winter coat and he held his breath waiting in anticipation to see what would happen next. “Please don’t take him away from me. I need him.” Junhui said as he looked up. “I’m begging you to let him stay.”

 

“We need him. All my life I’ve dreamed of the stage. Of singing and dancing and making people happy. Of bringing happiness into their lives. And I’ve worked hard, so hard, to even get here to have a small chance at achieving my dream.” Junhui sniffed a little and wiped his nose on his sleeve. “I’ve worked so hard and given up so much. I’ve come to this foreign country where everything is strange and hard to understand. I’ve given up my family, friends, even my whole life for my dreams.”

 

“Soonyoung is the same. He’s been working sixteen to twenty hours a day for as long as I’ve known him. Working so hard just for a chance to have a shot at his dreams. Putting his body on the line, spending hours in his room writing songs, giving up the life of a normal teenager for a chance at something special.”

 

Junhui looked over at Minghao still sitting at the table watching on in an undecipherable silence. When their eyes met the spark between them was palpable and Junhui took a deep breath before finding the strength to continue.

 

“I’ve worked my body into exhaustion just trying to be the best that I can be. And do you know what? This skinny kid showed up out of nowhere and was better. Better at everything. Just naturally and effortlessly better. Because he’s special. He’s really got something special, a talent not just for singing and dancing and rapping, but he’s got this charisma that just makes everyone fall in love with him. And we need him.”

 

Junhui looked at the three faces staring at him but he found the strength to keep going when Minghao’s expression turned from sad to confused to suddenly hopeful. He didn’t know if it was working on his parents at all but the relief Junhui felt when he spoke his feelings aloud was enormous. He suddenly felt light, lighter than air, and strangely free from his miserable sadness.

 

“So if you make him leave that’s your choice. I know you love him and want the best for him. But this is the life for Minghao. It’s his destiny and no matter what you do he will be drawn back to this place. It’s inveitable and you’re just delaying it. Your son was born to be a star. He was born for the whole world to fall in love with him. And it’s hard to share him with the world but its something you just have to accept. I know how you feel. I know because I, we, love him too.”

 

“And if you take him away you ruin the dreams of not just him but all four of us. We’re all in this together and we need him like you would never be able to understand. So please. I’m begging you. Please consider letting him stay.”

 

Junhui had held strong until he ran out of words and then he let the tears fall again. He tried to be strong, he tried to be stoic, but he was too emotional. He’d laid it all out on the line and he got up off the ground and stood with his head bowed. He couldn’t bear to look at them when he realised he had just embarrassed himself irrepairably in front of Minghao’s parents and probably made Minghao embarrassed as well. But he heard a shift and the movement of a chair and as he stared at the ground he felt fingers wind together with his. He looked up to see Minghao, eyes sparkling with a combination of tears and joy, love and sadness, and he felt their hands squeeze together even tighter.

 

 

_Don’t let go_

_I wont ever let go_

 

 

They held tight to each other and Minghao looked at his parents. They weren’t saying anything, just staring silently, until finally his mother spoke first. “I’m sorry, Junhui, but Minghao is coming home where he belongs.” She looked over at her husband for reiternation and was surprised to see him chewing nervously on a fingernail. Minghao watched his father think, his face furrowed in confusion, and held his breath with a mixture of hope and terror.

 

“Is this really what you want?” he looked at Minghao’s face, full of hopeful earnestness, and watched his only son nod his head with fervour. “More than anything Dad. Please?” Minghao let go of Junhui and went to his father. He knelt on the floor next to him and grabbed his hand and held it tight as he looked up into eyes that mirrored his own. “This is my passion. This is where I’m supposed to be. I’ll prove it. I’ll work harder than ever.”

 

The heavy sigh that escaped his fathers lips sounded like heaven to Minghao’s ears. He knew it was the sound of resignation, that his father was about to do something he didn’t really want to do but had no choice, and he waited impatiently for the words.

 

“Fine. I’ll allow it.”

 

“What are you saying?” His wife was incredulous but he brushed her off dismissively. “This is his life. Cant you see that? The old Minghao was just a shell, moving through life, never joyful or passionate or serious. He’s changed and this might be for the best.”

 

The tall and lanky teenager climbed onto his Dad’s lap like a toddler as he threw his arms around his neck. “You wont regret this Dad. I’ll work hard every day and I’ll never stop being the best that I can be.” Junhui had to smile a little when he saw the look that briefly crossed the man’s face. His parents weren’t immune to Minghao’s charms either.

 

Junhui joined them at the table as Minghao’s father listened to their stories about their small successes. His mother was pretending to be disinterested but as soon as their modelling work came up she couldn’t help but listen. “We’re even on a billboard!” Minghao said excitedly as his eyes shone with relief. “I’d like to see it before we go home.” His Dad said and the boys smiled at each other.

 

 

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

 

Their chatter wound late into the night air and it grew dark oustside. “Stay here tonight. Both of you.” Minghao’s mother had quickly warmed to the stunningly beautiful and quirky Junhui once she heard about his child acting work on her favorite dramas and the demand for his visuals in the modelling world. She knew she had no option than to be gracious in defeat. Her husband was right. This was his world now and it was where he belonged and Minghao said he had a copy of his print ad in a magazine for her to take home.

 

And maybe when his career was established he would still meet his obligation to his fiancée, Yu Yian, and come home to China and marry her. Or maybe she could make him an even better match. A son who was a celebrity would be highly sought after and she could probably match him with the daughter of a much more privileged family. She smiled at the thought of matching her son with the most eligible daughters in Beijing and wondered what sort of a match Junhui’s parents were making for his future.

 

 

 

 

The nice hotel room was impressive to Junhui who had become accustomed to the tiny and shabby apartment they shared. It had one big bed and its own adjoining bathroom. He took a long shower with unlimited hot water and hoped like hell that Minghao would show some restraint. He was barely ever able to shower alone these days and Soonyoung hadn’t mentioned noticing so Minghao would constantly sneak into the bathroom that Junhui always conveniently left unlocked. But he couldn’t bring himself to lock Minghao out and instead he hoped that Mighao would show some common sense and stay in the room while he showered.

 

 

 

He was just wetting his face and hair when he heard the soft click of the door. “Hao... your parents are across the hall...” Junhui whispered but Minghao waved him off dismissively. “They’ve gone to bed. Anyway, I won’t do anything, can’t we just enjoy the endless hot water together?” He was naked and in Junhui’s arms before the other boy could refuse him.

 

Steam filled the tiny bathroom as they washed each other gently and quietly with the little bottles of shower gel and shampoo and soon ‘doing nothing’ was just impossible. Junhui pleaded for Minghao’s silence as his eyes clenched shut under the hot water, Minghao’s hands all over his body, his lips trailing down his damp neck. He wanted to say no but he was helpless against Minghao’s touch.

 

 

 As they lay in the big soft bed that night Junhui had enough of Minghao’s gratitude. “Stop.” He had to beg Minghao to stop saying thank you. “Hao I couldn’t live with myself if I just let you go. I had to try.” He was trying to stay relaxed but inside he was jubilant. He’d achieved what he thought was impossible. Minghao was still talking and Junhui pulled him close and shushed him gently. It wasn’t a done deal yet and Junhui would only relax when they were gone.

 

 

 

The next morning they all got up and shared breakfast early. Minghao’s mother looked over his shabby clothes and her eyes drew down to the reasonably new Converse on his feet and the expensive phone clutched in his hand. Junhui was engrossed in a conversation with Minghao’s father and she took the opportunity to draw her son away a little. “How have you survived?” she asked as she realised her son had been somehow keeping himself alive.

 

 

“The company feeds us and pays for our apartment. It’s not much but its our home and we like it,” he said softly as his eyes flicked over to Junhui. “Junhui is generous. His parents send him an allowance and he takes care of me, he buys me food and paid for my winter coat, and he even gave me his old phone.” Minghao couldn’t help the emotion in his voice as he continued. “And now we’re getting a little bit of work I have my own money Mother, and I have to work hard for it, I need to succeed because I need to take care of him too.”

 

Something about the way her son looked over at the other boy made her feel a little unsettled, like there was something she wasn’t quite seeing, but she waved it away in her mind as unimportant. The idea of her son scrimping and surviving on nothing to claw his way closer to his dream made her realise how serious he was. Her husband was right. This was his life and even if they forced him home they couldn’t put him in a cage. He would somehow end up back here.

 

Junhui got his phone out and showed them the videos of them dancing, working as backup dancers on tv and in the concert, the videos they filmed in the practice room. Minghao’s father smiled to himself when he saw how alive his son looked, how wild and free he was when he danced, how his eyes sparkled with joy when he talked about his new life. He knew he had made the right decision. And Minghao knew that if it all ended up being a failure he could always come home now. They would always have him back.

 

With only an hour left until they had to be at the airport they piled into a cab and went past the open air mall. It was early and the shops were all closed but the air was warm and the mood was light. They rounded a corner and Minghao’s mother couldn’t contain her surprise when she saw her son’s stunning visuals larger than life on the billboard. The picture of him and Junhui was perfect and they made an impressive pair. “Wow,”

she said as she turned towards them. “And this is in magazines?” Junhui nodded. “Yeah and on tv,” he said with a smile. “It was only supposed to be my job but Minghao came along to assist me and, well, they took one look at him and it was his job too.”

 

They posed in front of the billboard and smiled as Minghao’s parents took pictures before it was time to say goodbye. “We’ll walk home.” Junhui said as Minghao’s parents shook his hand and thanked him. “Take care of my son please. I can see that you are close so please look after him and make sure he is okay.” Junhui smiled as he finally relaxed. He had done it. He’d shown these people that he was worthy and could be trusted with their son and when they got into their taxi and waved goodbye Junhui finally sighed with relief.

 

“We did it!” he said and Minghao shook his head. “No you did it. Thank you Junhui.” Minghao wanted to hold him but even though the mall was empty they couldn’t be sure they were alone.

 

“I swear I’ll work every day to make up for all you’ve done for me. You’ve saved my life and now you’re saved my dreams.” He sniffed back tears as Junhui smiled softly. “You don’t know how many ways you’ve saved me too.” He wanted to hold his hand but instead he settled for linking their arms together as they headed out to the street.

 

“Come on Hao.” Junhui said with a smile. “Let’s go home.”


	33. Chapter 33

 

Junhui was triumphant. Minghao was exhausted. They opened the door to the little apartment they called home and when Soonyoung saw them he jumped up from the couch.

 

“Are you really here?” he asked with a mixture of joy and confusion and Minghao just nodded. “Jun-gē convinced my parents to let me stay.” Soonyoung charged towards them like a ball of energy and they both squealed as he squeezed them tight into a group hug. “Does Seungcheol know?” he asked and they shook their heads. “I’ll tell him!” he said as he ran back to the couch and searched frantically for the phone dropped in his excitement.

 

Three days later four excited boys sat around a big table in the company meeting room. Minghao was clutching a big yellow envelope that had been couriered to their apartment. It contained his passport, all his ID and documents, and to his surprise a cheque. He excitedly handed the whole lot over to Seungcheol when he entered and he took it to make copies for the company records. “I’ll take you to open a bank account later,” he said to Minghao who sighed with relief. He had been keeping his cash in the bottom drawer of his bedside cupboard and when he added the cheque he would finally feel like his head was above water. He sent a quick text to his Dad thanking him for the money before putting the phone back in his pocket.

 

Kim Mingyu walked in with the CEO and some other department heads. Minghao tried to sit up straight and pay attention but his eyes kept wandering to the boy by his side. He listened absentmindedly as they talked about image and concept, dates and timelines, and Minghao wasn’t even able to focus. He didn’t care. As long as he was by Junhui’s side he didn’t care what they were doing.

 

Finally the CEO stood and everyone else quickly stood and bowed as he walked out. The other departmental heads left too leaving Seuncheol and Mingyu behind with the four boys. “Isn’t this exciting!” Junhui said as he turned to Minghao. “What? Sorry I was having trouble concentrating.” He smiled and Junhui smiled back at the boy’s distraction. “We’re recording in two weeks and filming out debut music video!” Minghao looked at the five faces staring at him and broke into a grin. “Really?” the room exploded into laughter at his surprise. “What were you thnking about?” Seungcheol laughed as Minghao blushed. “Nothing.” He said but he smiled as well and the six headed out of the conference room and out of the building. Seungcheol decided celebrations were in order and although they all felt like they’d had a lot of celebrations lately no one was complaining.

 

 

Two days later four boys sat separated in the salon. Minghao had his backpack on the floor, containing his phone and a cap and his wallet, and inside his new wallet his new bank card. He’d deposited the last of his cash and the cheque his parents had given him and for the first time in a year he felt completely relaxed. He had money, he had a bank account and all his documents, and in a few weeks he would turn eighteen and be free of the suspended prison sentence hanging over his head.

 

He closed his eyes as the stylist worked hard. It was the same one who’d worked on him last time. Once again she pinched his cheeks hard until they were sore and pink and he wanted to hide. But she was amazing at her job and she worked quickly and after an hour Minghao was surprised to see he was a dark honey blond.

 

“Thank you,” he said as he bowed politely and headed out to wait. Chan had been given a darker and shorter treatment and Minghao told him it looked great but he actually wasn’t so sure it did. Junhui came out and his hair was soft and straight and dark brown just as Minghao predicted. He knew the company was fielding lots of calls about more modelling work for Junhui and the shiny natural looking hair was necessary.

 

Junhui pinched Chan’s cheeks and said he looked adorable to the slight pout of the youngest. He tried to contain his delight over Minghao’s fluffy blond mop of curls but he couldn’t resist ruffling it a little. When Soonyoung came out with a slicked up silver style they all laughed. It looked amazing but so far from Soonyoung’s casual style that it was a bit of a shock.

 

That night as they all settled down to sleep, Chan in his family home, Soonyoung in his room and Junhui and Minghao squashed onto one single bed all four couldn’t sleep. Their recording was soon and their debut was just around the corner and they all could feel their dreams were just within their grasp.

 

“Junhui.” Minghao whispered and heard Junhui hum softly in acknowledgement. “This wouldn’t be the same without you.” Junhui just smiled into the darkness as he stroked Minghao’s soft hair. He knew the other boy was right. They were going to have all their dreams come true and they were going to do it together.

 

Nothing was going to stand in their way now.

 

 

Just a few days later they had a song and a name. They were going to be M-ParTial and they were debuting with a hip hop concept that all four boys were excited for. They gathered in the recording studio and tried their best, learning as they went, taking full advantage of the patience and guidance of the music producer hired to work with them. It took a whole day but when the track was done they went out for burgers to celebrate.

 

“Jun...” Minghao whispered as he ate his fries. “The name is kind of stupid....” he said and Junhui had to nod in agreement. It was a weird name but they had to trust that their company knew what it was doing. “It doesn’t matter Hao,” Junhui said as he squeezed his hand under the table. “Our song is great and our music video will be awesome!”


	34. Chapter 34

 

 

Seungcheol watched over his little brood of energetic boys almost like a father. He wasn’t that much older than they were but they were an amazing bunch of kids and he’d vowed to do everything he could within his power for them. To help them achive the success they deserved and to help shield them from everything that would come with it. He was determined to make sure they were protected.

 

He sat with Kim Mingyu and watched them dance on the set. Over and over again they all did it without complaint or even a roll of the eyes. They were the four strongest kids he’d ever met. He closed his eyes for just a second and thought back to the day the skinniest kid he’d ever seen dragged himself into an audition with a barely concealed black eye and a thick mop of hair that was greasy and too long. He was poorly dressed and quiet, almost vacant looking, and his arms were covered in bruises. When he danced and sang he was incredible. But Seungcheol couldn’t look past his haggard appearance. He was determined to protect the two incredible talents he’d already unearthed and he couldn’t risk it with some skinny street kid strung out on pills.

 

But when Junhui, the most caring kid he’d ever met, pleaded for the boy with such sincerity Seungcheol had to take notice. And it was a decision he’d never regretted making. Bringing him into the group and their home had been a revelation. The introduction of Minghao had made Junhui come to life with an explosion of talent and drive that Seungcheol never imagined. It was all worth it. The risks, the fear, the money the company had used to keep Minghao out of prison. It was all worth it.

 

The company had decided that a hip hop concept was the safe way forward. The debut song had Soonyoung and Junhui on vocals and Chan and Minghao rapping. They were making good use of Minghao’s skills in the dance and they were dressed in an assortment of oversized and brightly patterned shirts and pants, sneakers, caps and bandanas and headbands.

 

Seungcheol opened his eyes again and looked over to Mingyu who was tapping furiously away on his phone. “They look ridiculous,” he said quietly and Mingyu just shrugged. “It’s fasihion Seungcheol. And it’s what the company wants. Cute bubblegum-sweet hip hop with a bit of street flair,” he said without a smile. “To be specific and according to their exact brief.” “Cant you explain to the executives that this is kind of stupid.” Seungcheol wasn’t happy. The boys seemed fine. They were happily dancing the routine and hadn’t made any comment about their clothes or the style of song. But Seungcheol was concerned. Boy bands like this were a dime a dozen and there was nothing in the concept that would make them stand out. Their skils and charisma weren’t going to be enough. This industry was ruthless.

 

“I know you’re concerned Seungcheol but we’re under instruction. Unless I come up with some genius idea or concept that will sway them it’s a standard boy-band debut. The fact that they are self producing should get them some attention.”

 

Seungcheol sighed heavily. Lots of groups were self producing now. He could see this being lost in the hundreds of debuts that were put out into the public every year. The successful modelling work had created some buzz around them but not nearly enough. They needed a plan and they needed it quick. “Break!” Suencheol called out to the director when they ended the routine for probably the fifteenth time. “The kids need a break.” He said and the four sank to the ground greatfully.

 

“It’s going well. Isn’t it?” Soonyoung asked with so much hope in his eyes. “Yes Soonyong it it.” Seungcheol said as he took them drinks. “You guys are doing amazing.” Soonyoung took the drinks and took them over to his group. He’d been named the leader and was taking his role very seriously, keeping his little group in line and giving them support and encouragement and endless cheers, and Seungcheol knew he’d made the right decision. Soonyoung was perfect. He was a born leader, a mood maker, and a talented songwriter and choreographer. He was also endlessly optimistic, innocent, and totally trusting in the good of everyone he met. Seungcheol couldn’t stand the thought of anyone hurting him, taking advantage of his adorable nature or kindness, or damaging his unbridled self confidence. He would protect him, and all of them, at all costs.

 

 

At the end of the day when Chan’s family turned up to collect him the whole set was overrun. Chan’s little brother and sister, 3 year old twins, immediately ran to their brother. He grabbed the little boy and swung him high in the air before picking up his little sister and giving her a cuddle. “Who’s that?” she asked as she pointed to Minghao. “That’s Minghao.” Chan said and the little girl immediately ran to him and pulled at his shirt. When he smiled down at her she giggled and held her arms up to her. Minghao looked over at Chan who just shrugged and picked her up. “Me too!” Junhui said loudly as he ran towards them. No one was surprised to hear the joyful boy loved kids. “I’ve got a little brother you know,” he said as he lifted Chan’s baby brother onto his shoulders. “He’s not this little. But I miss him being this small they’re so fun!”

 

The set was filled with laughter as the two boys chased each other with the little one’s on their shouders. Soonyoung had found some cookies somewhere and when the babies squirmed to be put down they all sat on the floor and shared the sweet treats. Chan’s parents chatted with Seungcheol while Mingyu watched the boys play with the babies. Soonyoung was singing some made up dribble about chcocolate chip cookies and Chan was roaring like a dinosaur as he aimed bite sized pieces at his little brother’s mouth. The baby girl hadn’t yet let go of Minghao and was on his lap chewing a cookie almost as big as her head while she kicked her legs happily and Junhui worked little braids into her ponytails.

 

Cute….. Mingyu thought as he watched them. He didn’t even bother trying to talk to the babies. Little kids didn’t like him but he watched fascinated as the twins played happily with the boys they had only met minutes before. The little girl was fascinated with Minghao’s charms and when he made a cute face at her she squealed with laughter. Junhui cringed with pain when the little boy launched himself at his back but soon he was on all fours with the baby on his back screaming for him to crawl faster.

 

When it was time to leave the little girl clung to Minghao who promised her he would come and visit her. “Well looks like you’ve made two definite fans!” Chan’s Mum grinned as she grabbed the little girl and tried to pull her away. The little boy was still happily riding on Junhui’s shoulders and they offered to help take them out to the car.

 

 

 

That night Kim Mingyu laid awake. Sleep evaded him. He was a PR genius, young but educated, and talented beyond his years. He knew they had a winning combination, the boys were talented and gorgeous and charismatic, Seungcheol was smart and sensible and committed. But something was missing and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He fell asleep that night with a feeling of emptiness, like something was just outside his grasp, like there was a final puzzle piece just waiting to be slotted into place.


	35. Chapter 35

 

 

It was late. Seungcheol wanted to cry but he was faced with a wall of executives in suits. The numbers on the paper in front of him couldn’t lie. Even the name had tested poorly with the focus groups who had seen their music video. The song and choreography was rated pretty well but the costumes and concept were absolutely savaged.

 

He tried not to run his hands through his thick dark hair in exasperation. He believed in this group and he couldn’t believe it was all about to be snatched away from them and from him. He thought about asking to reshoot the video, re record the song, change the name and the concept. But there wasn’t a good enough reason. They were just one of a hundred boybands, they would be lost in a sea of faces and voices, with nothing to make them stand out.

 

 

Suddenly the door burst open. Kim Mingyu barreled into the room with his arms full of papers and files. “Sorry I’m late.” He gasped a little for air as he tried to collect himself. “I’ve got an idea and I hope you’ll hear me out.” The CEO looked around and nodded and Mingyu breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Seungcheol wondered what he was up to.

 

 

He began handing out pieces of paper to the CEO and other executives. By the time he got to Seungcheol the executives were all engrossed in reading the proposal. Mingyu looked exhausted but he smiled as he handed Seuncheol a piece of paper. It was brightly coloured with pictures of fish and unicorns and little dinosaurs all over it.

 

_ “Candy Crush” _

 

A children’s group? Singing and dancing for kids? Seungcheol’s eyes widened as he looked over the paper. It was genius. He remembered back to the day on the set when he watched Minghao and Junhui playing with the twins. The children were drawn to them in a way that Seungcheol hadn’t understood at the time. He looked up at Kim Mingyu with a newfound respect for the man’s vision. He was a freaking genius. There was no other group like it in the market.

 

The waited with captured breath for the CEO to speak. Finally after reading the proposal, going over the statistics again, he looked at his executives. “I’ll give you one chance. Budget for one song and one video and then we will review. But it’s one shot only.” He looked Mingyu in the eye and held his hand out to shake it. “Make sure that other awful music video never sees the light of day. And ‘Candy Crush’ is awful. Come up with something more funky.”

 

 

They called the boys into the meeting room and explained to them what was happening. “I hope you can agree to this.” Mingyu said. “It’s your best shot of making it.” The three younger boys all turned to Soonyoung. “I just want to sing and dance,” Soonyoung said. “And be together. The four of us. If you guys think this is our best shot then let’s take it!” He grinned brightly and the other boys relaxed and began to nod. It was really happening.

 

They were going to be Bubblegum Funk.

 

 

Seungcheol opened a box and laid four brightly coloured shirts out on the table. “Choose,” he said as he looked at the four boys. “You go first.” Soonyoung said to Junhui. “No,” Junhui said, “you go first Hao.” Minghao looked at Seungcheol and Mingyu, so smart and calm, so stoic. He looked over at little Chan, so bright and talented, at Soonyoung who was everything he aspired to be. And finally he looked at Junhui. His lover, his best friend, his soulmate. The boy he was tied to, through fate and destiny, the boy who’s eyes held their future within. He smiled at him as he made his choice. He walked over to the table and chose his colour, the shirt he picked up was vibrant and bright, and meant more to him than anyone would ever know. He would wear it everyday and find love and strength and happiness. He would wear his colour with pride and passion and spend every day in it working hard for his future and the success of Junhui and the others and himself.

 

There was only one choice for him from the four colours laid out on the table.

 

_Violet._

 

 

 

**_ Six months later _ **

 

 

“Junhui! Jun! Jun!” The mothers screamed as the four boys climbed out of the dark windowed van. They stood out the front of the building and waved to the crowd of adults and children that had gathered as they wore their now obligatory coloured shirts.

 

 

 

Their first song had blown up when it went viral and within three months of their debut every child in Asia was in love with Bubblegum Funk. Minghao’s popularity was almost as unreal as his rainbow striped hair he now sported everywhere he went. Their first video was quickly followed up with a mini album which was number one for weeks and three months later they followed up with their first full album. They’d just had their first concert and entered into talks over a tv show, a tour and a possible merchandise line. No group had ever blown up so quickly.

 

Seungcheol waited while they waved to their fans before leading them inside the building. He hustled them into the elevator and pressed a button taking them to the top floor. The penthouse. When the doors opened they all gasped. “Really?” Soonyoung’s mouth gaped open when he saw the incredible space. The living area was huge, there was a balcony and a big kitchen, and lots and lots of light streaming in through glass windows.

 

“We’ve taken a two year lease. The heating works just fine and you’ll have all the hot water you’ll ever need.” Seungcheol was so happy for them. They’d worked hard and deserved this more than anything. “Best of all...” Seungcheol continued as he led them around. “Four bedrooms and four bathrooms. No more having to share.”

 

Junhui saw Minghao stiffen beside him. No more sharing.... he had to do something quickly before they were all back in the tiny apartment near the company. “Come on Hao,” he said as he grabbed the boy’s hand. “We’ll take these two.” He headed for the two bedrooms opposite each other on the south side of the apartment. “It’s fine,” Junhui whispered as soon as they were alone. “The other two bedrooms are so far away no one will ever know.”

 

It would take more than seperate bedrooms to keep them apart. Nothing was going to stop them from being together.

 

It was their destiny.

 


End file.
